Some things should just be left alone. Remakes, prequels, and legacy sequels can all be fun and bring new fans to the original properties—but they can also be an absolute dumpster fire. Not everything turns out golden like the secret backdoor Final Destination prequel or the surprisingly cool Friday the 13th remake, which took what worked in the originals and expanded on it in smart ways. John Carpenter’s The Thing is no stranger to reinterpretation. It’s a remake itself, and over the years it’s had a comic series in the early-to-mid ’90s and a weird sequel video game in the early 2000s on Xbox and PS2. While the 1982 film bombed on release, it would go on to become one of the most revered horror movies of all time because it does nearly everything right. As we approach the 15th anniversary of Universal’s attempt at a prequel, it’s hard to watch them do nearly everything wrong. Bad pacing, heavy reshoots, and a special effects nightmare are just a few of the reasons The Thing (2011) will never be a cult classic and instead goes down as a bad imitation.
What the Heck Happened?
Yes, it would be a tall order to add onto this story. A sequel would have been a disaster… but how did the prequel end up this messed up? Let’s start with the story. The film takes place in 1982, shortly before the events of Carpenter’s movie, when the Norwegian camp in Antarctica discovers the alien spacecraft and the frozen pilot. The team recruits a paleontologist to help identify the organism, and then all hell breaks loose. The creature thaws, gets a little hangry, kills one of the crew, and is burned. It’s discovered that the alien assimilates its victims. When the team tries to fly one of their injured crew members back to civilization, another member reveals himself to be the Thing, crashing the helicopter.
Kate, the paleontologist, realizes the alien can’t absorb metal after finding bloody tooth fillings. The crew attempts to isolate themselves and develop a test so the creature can’t reach the mainland. Paranoia sets in. The Thing feels threatened and escalates, first trying to kill Kate, then the rest of the team, before escaping into the ice.
Everyone dies except Kate and an American pilot. They hunt down the creature, now disguised as one of the more a-hole members of the team. They destroy the alien and disable the ship, but Carter is revealed to be the Thing. Kate burns him and drives off. A helicopter lands at the camp. The last surviving Norwegian emerges with a rifle. A Thing dog escapes. Cue the opening of the 1982 movie.
Honestly, this should have been a short film. The two surviving Norwegians look exactly like they do in Carpenter’s movie, the end credits use the same lettering, and Ennio Morricone’s score plays. It’s a perfect three-minute sequence… and it may be the only part of this movie I ever revisit.
There Was an Attempt
To be fair, there was genuine effort here. The producers were behind the much-better-than-it-had-any-right-to-be Dawn of the Dead remake and went digging through Universal’s catalog. They specifically pitched a prequel to The Thing rather than a sequel or remake, calling the latter “like adding a mustache to the Mona Lisa.”
Director Matthijs Heijningen Jr. was a massive fan of Carpenter’s film and Alien. During production, he reportedly had countless screenshots of the original movie on his laptop. He was also influenced by Polanski and wanted to lean heavily into paranoia.
Screenwriter Eric Heisserer rewrote the script extensively, making the cast primarily scientists, closer to the original novella instead of blue-collar workers.
There was heart here. There was attention to detail. Unfortunately, studio meddling and ambition exceeding execution caused this to crash and burn, much like the helicopter in the movie.
What Actually Works (Sort Of)
Even though the 1982 film is my favorite movie of all time, I won’t be harder on this than necessary. It’s not unwatchable, and a few things genuinely work, though most come with caveats. The sets and props do a solid job placing the film in 1982. It’s not as airtight as something like Alien: Romulus using era-accurate tech and sound design, but it’s respectable. The creature shrieks mimic the original sound effects well, and the burning effects look right when Things are set ablaze.
Once again, that end-credits sequence deserves praise. It’s so accurate that part of me wonders if it was shot first as a proof of concept.
Some of the visual effects also aren’t terrible in isolation. The creature designs are twisted, grotesque, and full of body-horror chaos. Unfortunately, this becomes the biggest double-edged sword of the movie, and that brings us to the problems.
Attention to Detail… Until It Breaks Everything
When the film gets details right, it’s impressive. We see how the two-faced Thing came to be, the man who took his own life rather than be assimilated, the axe in the wall, the block of ice, it’s all there. As a fan, it makes you smile. Sometimes it even triggers the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood DiCaprio-pointing meme reaction. I also don’t hate the idea that metal can’t be assimilated properly. It’s a clever twist that differentiates the prequel… but yes, there’s a big asterisk attached.
Studio Interference and the FX Disaster
Test audiences apparently reacted poorly, and the studio panicked. The result was a series of changes that completely kneecapped the film. The biggest issue, and the one everyone expected, is the special effects.
The original plan was full practical effects: puppets, animatronics, old-school monster work. Some of these effects were built and still exist, but they were covered up with digital overlays at the studio’s request. Why you would choose CGI over practical effects in a movie directly inspired by the greatest practical-effects horror film ever made is baffling. It’s infuriating to watch and even worse to think about.
That said, practical effects alone wouldn’t have saved this movie. There are too many other problems.
The Thing Doesn’t Act Like The Thing
One of the biggest failures, beyond the effects, is how the creature behaves.
The metal rule doesn’t hold up when compared to the 1982 film, and the alien frequently acts out of character. It constantly exposes itself, attacks openly, and seems more interested in killing everyone immediately rather than infiltrating and assimilating. The Thing should be playing chess, not flipping the table.
You could argue that the creature learned from this failure and adjusted its behavior for the U.S. outpost, but the movie never frames it that way. It just wants loud, angry spectacle.
It doesn’t help that the Thing even reaches for the wrong ear at the end, despite supposedly retaining all of its host’s memories.
Flat Characters and a Hollow Setting
The characters don’t fare much better. The Norwegian outpost features a level of representation that is completely absent from Carpenter’s film, which only highlights continuity issues. Worse, there are no standout personalities.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead is fantastic in everything from Fargo to 10 Cloverfield Lane, but she’s given very little to work with here. The same goes for Joel Edgerton. There’s no Palmer, no Windows, no Blair. No camaraderie. No creeping paranoia. Even scenes lifted straight from the original (shootings, burning labs) have zero weight.
Whether this is due to studio cuts or not, the end result feels like a 99-cent store version of a masterpiece, complete with intrusive music cues and a constant need to be loud instead of tense.
Final Verdict: Burn It
This movie failed and failed hard. Critics hated it. Fans hated it. It bombed financially for good reason. I always try to revisit films with an open mind, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised more often than not. This wasn’t one of those times.
The Thing (2011) is a pale imitation of a far greater film, and I don’t see it gaining appreciation over time the way Carpenter’s classic did. Do yourself a favor and burn this imposter before it spreads any further.
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