Why Did I Fake an Asthma Attack? The Childhood Lie That Changed My Life –

Monday Morning Reflections: A Cloudy Start and Childhood Memories

It’s Monday morning. It’s cloudy outside. It’s not even 7 AM, and I’m driving on the expressway back home.

Normally, I would be rushing to make my 7:30 AM Zoom client, but I don’t have that client today.

It’s nearing the end of July, and August is approaching.

When I was a kid, I used to hate this time of the year—but love it just as well.

I hated walking into the store and seeing back-to-school supplies on special right now.

It was the inevitable fact that school was right around the corner.

Now back in my day—sound like an old man—but back in my day, school normally started anywhere between August 20 or August 25, somewhere around there.

I would get a sense of depression thinking about going back to school.

It wasn’t that I was bad at school—or, now that’s subjective.

When I mean bad, like I couldn’t understand the information, or I felt intimidated or bullied or anything like that.

Nah

I just wanted to play video games at home all day .

That’s honestly what it was.

The Asthma Attack That Wasn’t

I never refused to go to school—except maybe one time—when I intentionally faked an asthma attack back in the third grade. Now, I never knew anything about asthma seriously, but I remember seeing some of my classmates get to leave, go to doctor’s appointments to treat their asthma, so to say, you know, when I would talk back to them later.

So one day, I decided to fake an asthma attack. We were walking up the hall, and I just remembered the hallway was just very shiny. The floors were very shiny—Roosevelt Magnet—and we were lining up, and I decided that, “Let me try this asthma attack thing. Let me try that.”

And so I began to breathe in very frantically, and the teacher was like, “What’s wrong?” And I said, “I think I’m having an asthma attack.” Now, I was not on paper to have an inhaler or medical records to show I had asthma at the time.

So I went down to the principal’s office, and I was able to just stay there for the rest of the day and eventually go home after everything was said and done. Scratch that—my mom came to pick me up, or my uncle. Somebody in my family came to pick me up because my mom was at work, so I pretty much understand that she wasn’t able to come.

The Unexpected Doctor Visit and Harsh Truth

So I was able to, you know, go home—and I mean go home home. I could play my video game all day. That necessarily wasn’t the case because I then went to the doctor. And I didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect to go to the doctor from an asthma attack that was faked. That wasn’t granted. That wasn’t permitted. None of that stuff. I just wanted to play “Castle” on Nintendo at home.

I couldn’t get past a certain part, and it was just frustrating. I know I needed more time. But upon this doctor’s visit, they began to let me know that I needed to change my diet. “You need to eat some fruit.” And I was like, “What’s a diet?” You know, “What’s that?”

And he’s like, “Oh, okay, if he’s suffering from asthma attack, he’s just heavily breathing. I don’t see any signs of asthma attack or anything like that, or signs he’s going to have asthma. But is he just out of breath? He’s too fat. He’s too big.”

And I was like, “Huh?”

That was the first time I realized I had a weight problem. And it was very eye-opening. I never knew I was a big kid. I never knew I was the fat kid like that—until the doctor said it.

Shame, Awareness, and a Shift in Consciousness

You know, when kids say things, it can come off as mean and, “Oh, okay, they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re just hating.” But no—the doctor said it. I was told by a doctor. That appeared. And I was fat.

I wasn’t hurt by the doctor. I wasn’t. My feelings weren’t hurt. It was just like, “Oh, my plan failed.” What I thought was a quick getaway from being in school led me to the path of what I’m on right now and where I am talking to you.

Because I began to become conscious of my appearance. I began to be—I began to have consciousness of my weight and health and everything surrounding it. So when these back-to-school signs pop up, from year after year since that moment, I just think about the upcoming school year—how I just didn’t necessarily want to be there.

Because the reality is—you want to learn something. You want to learn something about yourself. When you begin to educate, when you dedicate time to educate yourself one way or another, you will find a lesson that you didn’t even think you were going to find.

Birthday Memories and the Value of Changing Seasons

That wasn’t the intent. But things changed. Just like time. Just like the seasons.

One of the reasons why I do love the end of July right before August is my brother’s birthday—and my older cousin’s birthday—my cousin Shad, who passed. He was like a brother to me. Words cannot explain how much I miss him. Words can explain, but…

I just remember when he was here, we always had a good time. Now, my actual biological brother—my older brother—he always had summer parties. He just always seemed like he had friends that were able to celebrate his birthday with him in the summer.

I’m a December baby, so I didn’t necessarily get the pool parties and, you know, things like that. So that was fun.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been learning to appreciate the different seasons—even if it’s the season that I don’t necessarily care for that’s upcoming. Because I’m going to have to learn something.

Learning to Endure and Build Strength

And I may not necessarily know what that is. I may set my goals out for it to be something that I want to learn. But within that, something else pops out in regards to what it is to be learned—or what is to be gained in this lesson.

And that’s the beauty of life, because when seasons are getting ready to change, and seasons change, you got to be prepared for all lessons that are learned. And that’s what I’m learning right now in this season of change. The season of change.

I have to learn how to be better. I have to learn how to be stronger. I have to learn how to be wiser—praying for wisdom, praying for discernment, and understanding of what this life entails and how to navigate in it.

And the lessons that can be learned—is about strength. It’s about resilience. I’m learning lessons on who I am today in 2025. And that person has become more calmer, more aware.

Anxiety, Movement, and Morning Routine Clarity

There are times where I’m not calm. And there are times when I’m not calm—how it can possibly cause harm. How it has caused harm. So what is the lesson learned? It’s to calm down.

So my anxiousness, my uncertainty won’t hurt others. And a lot of times I’m anxious because I may not know what to do. I’m wound up. I just haven’t… worked out.

What I found out is—working out helps alleviate the stresses and the woes of life. Part of my morning routine I’m getting back into—because it’s the season to get back into—is my morning cardio bike ride.

30 minutes used to be challenging, just from a couple weeks ago. And I learned how to endure for 30 minutes. I wanted the 30 minutes. That’s what it was. That was my goal.

The 30-Minute Ride and More Weight Mantra

But what I learned going from 20 minutes to 30 minutes is that I don’t have to ride the bike continuously for 30 minutes straight. I can ride for 20, take a one-minute rest, and get back on the bike for the last 10 minutes.

Because sometimes sitting on that seat hurts for a while, or it’s uncomfortable. But I learned how to endure the uncomfortableness of what it takes to get stronger.

Hence the hashtag: #More.

Hence the mantra: More Weight.

Hence the moniker: More Weight.

Because to endure is to become strong.

Truth, Routine, and the Real Reason

And the only way that I can continue to ride this bike for 30 minutes is to endure some uncomfortableness. To endure being uncomfortable. But at the end of the 30 minutes, I feel so relieved. I completed it.

Then the next day, I do the same thing again. But this time, I don’t need the one-minute break to split up between the 20 and the 10. I can endure. I’m strong enough to endure this. And that’s what I chant every day—to relieve my anxiety, my worry.

I’m older now. When my mom got the call that I was having an asthma attack, she probably panicked. I would too if I had a child and didn’t know what was going on. And he said, “Hey, I’m sick. I’m having an asthma attack.”

And the lesson learned is that… I need to tell the truth.

“More Weight” isn’t just a mantra—it’s a lesson, a mindset, and a commitment. To life. To truth. To becoming stronger. One uncomfortable ride at a time.