Why am I so Scared of the Dentist? | Middle Aged Mama

I must confess: I’m so scared of the dentist, that I avoided it altogether for about fifteen years – from the time I left teacher’s college, up until I was married with children and realised I should really be setting them a better example. 

There’ve been several gaps since, though none so long-standing. I lasted about 5 years after this photo was taken in 2013 – and the only reason I actually went to the dentist then, was because I broke a tooth. Ouch!

There I was, stuffing my face on french fries (at least I’d made them in the air fryer!) when I felt something hard in my mouth. Turns out, it was half of my back molar 🙁 . It didn’t hurt (apart from when my tongue kept finding the rough surface and playing with it, no matter how hard I tried to stop it!), but I was worried enough to actually book a dentist’s appointment.

I really really hate going to the dentist. I do apologise in advance to the many lovely caring dentists out there: it’s not you, it’s me.

So you can understand that I must have really hated my teeth, to willingly submit to dental bonding a few years ago. The end result though was definitely worth it – after years of having a snaggle tooth, with a smile that was more dull yellow than “pearly white”, I’m so happy with the results!

Even today, just the thought of a trip to the dentist has me hyperventilating and clenching my jaw in fear (which doesn’t exactly help when you’re trying to “open wide”!). Sounds like I could really benefit from hypnotherapy for my dental phobia!

Dentists in the Bad Old Days

I’m certainly not alone when it comes to being scared of the dentist, with one in 7 Australian adults said to feel exactly the same.

I was also intrigued to note that those aged 40–64 years old at the time of the report (2005), had the highest prevalence of dental anxiety.

As with most irrational fears and phobias, being scared of the dentist seems to stem from childhood. Back when people of that demographic (now 53 – 77 year olds, according to my calculations) were young, we hated the dentist for good reason (I’m counting myself in that cohort even though I’m a bit younger).

According to my current dentist, dental treatment was a lot more aggressive in the seventies. They took an “intervention as prevention” approach … or something like that. I really wish I could remember the exact phrasing! That rang true for me, as I remember being told that most of my fillings weren’t actually because I had cavities, but rather because I had a lot of pits and fissures in the enamel which made them more susceptible to decay.

And, it was partly my own fault. As a ten year old I rarely brushed my teeth, as you can tell from my furry yellow smile in the photo below.

It was no wonder that I found myself at the dentist every other week!

Why am I so Scared of the Dentist?

It was a horrible routine. I’d have a checkup, only to discover I needed up to a dozen fillings, maybe a tooth extraction to create more room, a fluoride treatment, etc. By the time all the work was done, at fortnightly intervals, six months had passed and it was time for my next checkup – and so the whole cycle would begin again.

There were so many things that I hated about it! I loathed:

• The feeling of not being in control, and at the dentist’s mercy.
• How much it hurt –  it wasn’t just the needles, it was the pushing and pulling, poking and prodding.
• The noise of the drill and other instruments of torture.
• The fact that I always had to swallow or even gag at the most awkward times.
• Not being able to talk.
• Being told off for not taking better care of my teeth.
• The fluoride treatments. Not only did it taste revolting, the trays were made of hard plastic which cut into my gums. Plus I’m sure back in those days, I had to sit with the trays in for at least half an hour (of agony).
• Not being able to manage a ladylike spit into the sink, especially with a numb mouth.
• The numbed feeling afterwards.

I’m also pretty sure our family dentist was a certified, card-carrying sadist, LOL. Many years later I had a work colleague who had gone to the same dentist, and apparently he was notorious for creating a whole generation of dental phobics!

Thankfully, dental treatment has come a long way in the last forty years. There’s even a TV screen on the ceiling that you can watch during your procedure … though I had to smile (inwardly), as it was tuned to a show on reptiles when I my broken tooth was fixed. Imagine: being confronted with not one, but TWO of your biggest phobias at once – the dentist, and snakes!

Other than that it’s merely unpleasant, and certainly not the torture I remember, although I still find it very hard to relax.

I hate:

• Having the enormous gadgets in my mouth to have an x-ray done. Gag.
• That I find it hard to breathe. Last visit, my dentist told me to “breathe through my nose”. Ha! Easier said than done. My sinuses / nose always seem to be congested.
• The damage inflicted on our bank account!

And I haven’t even gotten to the after-effects!

The next day my jaw and my arms are sore – no doubt from being tense while in the dentist chair, and trying to keep my mouth open for an extended period.

At least the much-loathed fluoride treatment is quick and easy these days – it takes all of about a minute for the dentist or assistant to use a gloved finger to swish the stuff around my teeth. I do love the feeling of newly cleaned and polished teeth!

Thankfully these days my teeth and gums are in great shape, probably because I am religious about brushing and flossing these days. I guess you could say there’s an upside to being so scared of the dentist – prevention is better than cure!

However when my dentist waves me off with a smile, saying, “See you in 6 months for a checkup!” – I think we both know there’s fat chance of that actually happening 😉 .

Are you also scared of the dentist – and when was the last time you went?!

This post was originally published in 2018 and has just been updated.