We guess it wasn’t enough to try to hang Senator Mark Kelly for that video where he and other lawmakers from the military and intelligence worlds encouraged active servicemembers to do a treason by reminding them of their constitutional duty to defy illegal orders. (Which is literally the most basic thing in the book, you learn it early on in basic training and any general who goes under oath before Congress will say the same thing.) Secretary Shitfaced Pete Hegseth is trying to demote Kelly’s retired rank and go after his pension, and in response, Kelly has sued the living shit out of Hegseth and his whiskey dick, and we imagine he’ll win easily and humiliate Hegseth in the process.
Most Unqualified Secretary Of Defense Ever Going After Captain Mark Kelly Some More
Dems Telling Troops To Disobey Illegal Orders, And Trump’s Nazis Are Flipping Their Sh*t
Now they’re going after five more of the lawmakers in that video, and there were six in the video, so that’s all of them. Trump’s Nazis must be aware on some level that they wouldn’t actually win anything against these true patriots in court, or in a court martial if Shitfaced tried to do that to Kelly. So all they can do is try to intimidate them.
NBC News reports on threats being made to Reps. Jason Crow, Chrissy Houlahan, and Maggie Goodlander, with Trump’s clownshow thug Justice Department telling them that they’re under investigation for reading the Constitution out loud. Separately, Senator Elissa Slotkin and Rep. Chris Deluzio have come forward about receiving the same threats.
Each lawmaker is saying in his or her own way that the Pedophile Protector in the White House is cordially invited to lick their nuts.
“Donald Trump called for my arrest, prosecution, and execution—all because I said something he didn’t like. Now he’s pressuring his political appointees to harass me for daring to speak up and hold him accountable,” Crow said in a statement.
Goodlander said on X, “It is sad and telling that simply stating a bedrock principle of American law caused the President of the United States to threaten violence against me, and it is downright dangerous that the Justice Department is targeting me for doing my job.
“These threats will not deter, distract, intimidate, or silence me,” she added.
Houlahan, in her social media post, said, “The six of us are being targeted not because we said something untrue, but because we said something President Trump and Secretary Hegseth didn’t want anyone to hear.”
And Slotkin:
“This is the President’s playbook,” Slotkin said Wednesday. “Truth doesn’t matter, facts don’t matter. And anyone who disagrees with him becomes an enemy and he then weaponizes the federal government against them. It’s legal intimidation and physical intimidation meant to get you to shut up.”
And here are some video announcements from Crow and Slotkin:
If you want a punchline, it is that it appears to be US Attorney Judge Boxwine threatening to open a bottle of Yellowtail on these seditious insurrectionists who forgot to swear their oath to Dear Leader instead of the Constitution, so it’s not like she’s actually going to be able to get a grand jury to do anything to them.
Hilarious that in Slotkin’s video she refers to Boxwine as “former Fox host Jeanine Pirro.” You know, just like former Fox host Secretary Shitfaced is going after Mark Kelly!
Crow confirmed that Boxwine asked him for an interview last week. About what? It’s a 30-second video, and they took turns explaining that servicemembers and those in the intelligence agencies swore an oath that requires them to ignore illegal orders. Does Boxwine want to know what kind of deodorant they wore that day? Or what they had to drink with dinner the night before?
Ooh, maybe they’ll get that little bitch Bill Pulte to invent some MORTGAGE FRAUD allegations and try to get some indictments from Boxwine or the US Attorney from Baywatch who’s squatting in her position in the Eastern District of Virginia illegally!
Pam Bondi And Lindsey Halligan Say Judges Not Their Real Dad, Cannot Tell Them What To Do
Hey pop quiz, what do you think Judge Boxwine sounds like saying the word “Constitution”?
Pirro of course said they don’t talk about their investigations — you know, not unless Kash Patel is running to Twitter to announce that he found a bullet that says “I am the woke transgender who hates America!” on a fresh crime scene — but again, there’s no scenario wherein any of these people did anything remotely wrong. These fascist Nazi motherfucker MAGA losers are just upset because they’re trying to usher in a white supremacist dictatorship and there’s a fuckton of people out there saying “The hell you will, eat my fucking ass.”
And one way to do that is to make a video reminding servicemembers of the oath they took. (It was amazing timing too, because that video came out just as Shitfaced was taking his Viagra to start giddily murdering innocent Venezuelan fishermen in boats, and maybe a guy or two who had some cocaine in his rowboat, eventually headed for Europe.)
Nobody has actually sat down with the FBI yet, and who knows if they ever will? What if the lawmakers told them to fuck off? Would Boxwine order raids on their houses to see if they’re harboring copies of the Uniform Code of Military Justice? Confiscate their pocket Constitutions? Check the liquor cabinets, just for, you know, whatever?
We make fun, because these people deserve to have every person on earth mocking the living shit out of them, but it’s serious business. In Slotkin’s video, she notes that as soon as Donald Trump started calling for the lawmakers’ execution for denying his tiny-fingered wishes, she started receiving many death threats, had a bomb threat at her house, her parents got SWAT-ted, and her siblings had to get security at their houses. But yet here are all these lawmakers speaking out about it, just like all the heroes in Minneapolis refusing to learn the lesson the Nazis are trying to teach them, which is that if you defy them, they’ll murder an innocent mommy in an SUV and orphan her children.
Trump Just Saying People Who Love Constitution More Than They Love Führer Should Be Killed
Here is some more defiance from these lawmakers:
“I won’t be intimidated and will keep fighting to uphold my oath to the Constitution and defend our country,” Crow wrote in a statement.
“These threats will not deter, distract, intimidate, or silence me,” Goodlander wrote. “I will continue doing my job and upholding my oath to our Constitution. And I will never give up the ship.”
And here is another video from Crow on MS NOW explaining what a little bitch Donald Trump really is, and how these lawmakers serve a far higher purpose:
It really does strike us how much Boxwine, Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, Shitfaced, and Trump have absolutely no concept of what they’re dealing with here, because none of those people has any honor, decency, or integrity within their skin-bags of TV makeup, fillers and low-intelligence rage. (And booze for a couple of ‘em, we just reckon!)
None of these morons can conceive of how far beneath Elissa Slotkin, Jason Crow, Chrissy Houlahan, Maggie Goodlander, Chris Deluzio, and Mark Kelly they are on the rungs of life, because they cannot conceive of ever being a person who’s worthy of true admiration, who serves a higher calling than their own greed and authoritarian ambitions.
These are actual brave people, not people who bravely brave the reportedly corpse-farting-two-days-after-death odor of Donald Trump’s body so they can take turns sucking his fascist mushroom dick and get some more power for themselves.
More heroes are standing up every day. Because fuck Donald Trump and fuck every single one of his Nazi fluffers, end of fucking story.
OPEN THREAD.
[NPR / NBC News]
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