Trump’s Crypto-Grifto Dinner His Biggest Scam Since, Well, Yesterday

Ever wake up in the morning, read the news headlines, and they’re so insane you just start laughing like Woody Woodpecker? Yes, every day! Or maybe it’s just me!

Anyway, Trump’s crypto-grifto dinner happened last night, for the 220 people who bribed him an average of $1.8 million each in $TRUMP memecoin, at the Trump National Golf Club in Northern Virginia.

Good for these protestors shouting outside! SHAME THOSE PEOPLE!

And at some point the 25 biggest crypto-spenders were supposed to get a “VIP Tour” of the White House, though the reference to the White House later disappeared from the site. CNN reports that those top 25 donors did at least get “access to a small VIP reception with the president.”

Who bought their way in via the purchase of this intangible “product,” which according to its disclaimer is “not intended to be, or to be the subject of, an investment opportunity, investment contract, or security of any type”? Well, that is a SECRET that Trump will not tell you! And some of the purchasers even showed up in disguise, like this guy in some kind of bug/robot mask.

But Trump did publish a “leaderboard” where the top donors were identified by their wallet addresses and nicknames four letters or less, such as “REKT”, “HYPE” and “MEOW.”

Bloomberg and other outlets have done some sleuthing, though! And Bloomberg found that “many of the wallets with the largest holdings are not listed on the leaderboard,” and also all but six of the top 25 bribecoin buyers were using foreign exchanges that do not allow customers to register if they live in the US. HMM!

The biggest investor, according to itself, was a company called GD Culture Group, which is made up of eight Chinese investors and spent $300 million. The company recorded zero revenue last year from an e-commerce business it runs on TikTok, and disclosed last month that it was in danger of losing its Nasdaq listing because it had failed to meet certain financial requirements. So whither and from whom did it get $300 million? Why, from a stock sale to an unnamed entity in the British Virgin Islands! And that is all we know. However, the company’s annual report notes that “The Chinese government may intervene or influence its operations at any time,” as is the Chinese government’s way. So whoever it is, it is no one who the Chinese government would disapprove of.

Remember when Trump was trying to ban TikTok, and then suddenly the algorithm started pushing his messaging before the election, and then he loved them again? Ha ha ha HA ha! Ha ha ha HA ha! HAHAHAHAHA!

Trump Loves TikTok Now, Begs SCOTUS To Save It

Trump’s treatment of China and its companies sure is reminiscent of its treatment of Qatar, when Jared Kushner fished for them to bail out his purchase of the cursed building he was underwater on at 666 Fifth Avenue. They declined, and then Qatar found themselves subject to a blockade, until they found their way to get their money into the Trump family pockets. And then all their problems went away, and they have been besties ever since! A kiss on the hand might be quite continental, but bribery is a Trump’s best friend.

Anyway, what’s this, the largest personal holder of $TRUMP coin, the coin for strumpets, is one Justin Sun, who we have written about before.

Trump Just Got $18 Million From A Chinese Crypto Scammer, But LOOK, BANANA!!

Step Right Up, Suckers! Trump’s Got A Fourth Crypto-Grifto!

Sun was born in China, and is also the Prime Minister of a micronation named Liberland. He started a blockchain named Tron, and before Trump was elected he had been charged with fraud and market manipulation by the Securities and Exchange Commission. But he bought $75 million shares of Trump’s World Liberty Financial crypto, and then $18.6 million of his memecoins, and the investigation was magically put on “pause”! Not only that, but two weeks ago the United Arab Emirates announced they were going to put $2 billion with a B into a World Liberty Financial stablecoin, which will be integrated Sun’s Tron blockchain.

Market manipulation, did somebody say market manipulation? The value of Trump’s memecoin had been sinking, but after the dinner and tour announcement (“Hear close-up, from President Trump, about the future of Crypto!”) its value surged 58 percent. The Trump family controls about 80 percent of the coin but can’t sell large amounts without tanking the value. But since the family also makes money on every trade of $TRUMP, any and all activity, even sell-offs, bring in cash.

It’s a new day, though! Sun put it at his dinner speech last night,

[J]ust 100 days ago, they were hunting down crypto people everywhere, and we could not have such a grand event in Washington gathering all practitioners in the U.S. to build the crypto industry together. This is the most beautiful thing I can think of in my life.

And then there’s the lower-level scumbags: CREW reports that 50 of the $TRUMP memecoin dinner invitees hold crypto assets named for Pepe the Frog, that 4Chan symbol of racist, antisemitic chuds who can’t get laid. In addition to Trump coins, those wallets’ holdings include coins with names like “‘FUCK THE JEWS,’ while another is simply the n-word. Four others are variations on the word ‘swastika,’ such as ‘Swasticoin’ and ‘Swastika Coin.’” Maybe these $TRUMP-buyers aren’t antisemitic racists themselves, they are just bullish on antisemetic racist futures! Kidding, it is both.

There was Morten Christensen, the 39-year-old onetime poker player who now runs a crypto website. “The whole week I was talking to my wife and father, ‘Wouldn’t it be insane if I get to meet the president of the United States based on a memecoin competition?’”

There was a pseudonymous crypto founder and cybersecurity expert who calls himself “Ogle,” and a co-founder of the Singaporean Crypto Company MemeCore, who calls himself “Ice,” because they are all Marvel villains. Also in attendance, Vincent Liu, Sheldon Xia, Kain Warwick, and Oh Sang-rok, founders of crypto companies with headquarters or operations in Taiwan, the Cayman Islands, Australia, and South Korea, respectively. And one lucky guy named Vincent Deriu, a consultant who told the Wall Street Journal that he spent (only) $116,000 buying $TRUMP tokens.

Also Lamar Odom was there, the former basketball player perhaps best known for his brief marriage to Khloé Kardashian, and ODing in a Nevada cathouse. He has now launched his own memecoin, which is called $ODOM. Question for your born-again friends, if Trump was Satan on earth and his inner circle were demons from hell, how would this look any different?

The bribery is so balls-out that even some Republicans took time out of their day from taking food out of the mouths of hungry children and healthcare away from the sick to rebuke it.

“This is my president that we’re talking about, but I am willing to say that this gives me pause,” said Sen. Cynthia Lummis, of Wyoming.

And Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski did not like how the bribery came with a White House tour, which seems like the LEAST concerning thing about it, but whatever.

“I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to charge people to come into the Capitol and take a tour. He’s got to remember that he’s living there, but it’s the people’s house, right?”

Ha ha ha HA ha! Ha ha ha HA ha! HAHAHAHAHA!

[NBC / CREW / New York Times archive link / The Intercept / CNBC / Bloomberg / Politico]

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