Rue Grewal: Why don’t we care enough for those who care for family with dementia? | Conservative Home

Rue Grewal is a Three Rivers District Councillor and Deputy Chair of Hertfordshire Conservatives Area Management Executive

As I care for my wonderful, 89-year-old dad—grappling daily with a mix of Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, and a failing heart—I am confronted with the harsh reality of our broken social care system.

This is a system meant to support those who spent their lives contributing to our society, including my father’s generation—immigrants who answered Britain’s call to help build a strong nation. But today, the promise of care in their later years feels distant, if not entirely broken.

The social care crisis didn’t appear overnight; it is rooted in decades of underfunding, political ambivalence, and missed opportunities. The shortcomings stretch back to the Blair government, whose NHS reforms largely left social care on the sidelines.

While Labour’s 2000 National Health Service Plan ambitiously expanded healthcare and hospital performance, it lacked an equivalent focus on social care—a gap that has only grown over the years as the demand for comprehensive elderly care has surged. Witnessing these shortcomings firsthand makes it painfully clear: this crisis is not solely a product of the new Labour government. For decades, governments of all stripes—Conservative, Labour, and coalition—have failed to create a sustainable solution.

Then came the Coalition government and the Conservatives’ “Big Society” agenda, which pledged to “fix social care once and for all.” David Cameron’s government introduced the Dilnot Report in 2011, proposing a cap on care costs, yet the recommendations were delayed and ultimately abandoned.

Theresa May’s proposal to use home equity for care costs ended politically disastrously, with no lasting outcome. Johnson’s promise to “fix the crisis in social care once and for all” and Sunak’s tentative steps to bridge the funding gap followed. Each government recognised the issues but delivered only fragmented policies, resulting in little lasting impact.

For over two decades, our leaders have acknowledged the social care crisis but consistently delivered inadequate solutions, leaving families like mine to bear the burden. This is no longer just a policy issue; it is a moral duty. For the generation that built this country and the families who care for them, our leaders must do better. To prevent another decade of political inertia, we need real, substantive changes. We need a social care system that not only honours the contributions of previous generations but is also equipped to meet the needs of future ones.

Caring for someone with dementia is a profound experience that few can truly understand without living it. Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia are more than memory diseases—they are relentless, eroding the mind, stripping away identity and dignity.

My dad, who once had all his faculties, who worked and contributed to this country, is now lost in a world of confusion. Every day brings new challenges: helping with eating, dressing, and medications; managing complex health needs; trying to provide moments of calm amid deep disorientation. Despite these daily struggles, I count myself among the “fortunate” ones because I can be here for him, even if it means shouldering nearly impossible workloads and financial burdens.

And here we are, with Starmer’s Labour government now at the helm, facing the same deeply rooted issues that have plagued social care for decades. Their proposal for a National Care Service sounds promising in theory, but so far, practical details are missing, and meaningful progress has yet to be seen. Meanwhile, Ed Davey and the Liberal Democrats, who have taken up the cause with vigour, are fighting the same uphill battle against Treasury concerns and a system resistant to change.

I feel a deep, human connection with Ed Davey, as he truly understands the toll and heartbreak that come with caring for a loved one. He has been outspoken on this issue, calling it a “human tragedy” that so many families, like mine, are left to face alone. “The government cannot continue to turn a blind eye to the cries of those in need,” he says, pushing for reform with an urgency too many others seem to lack. But will his voice truly make a difference, or will his calls for action fade into the familiar echo chamber of political promises?

The government faces tough questions, but these are not new. Labour’s talk of a National Care Service lacks detail, and the Treasury’s cautious stance raises concerns about the billions needed to fund real change. Health Secretary Wes Streeting and Chancellor Rachel Reeves are “in discussions,” but so far, they’ve only suggested a Royal Commission—a process that could delay action by years, pushing meaningful progress past the next election.

If I were a betting person, which I’m not, I’d guess that this course of action is a deliberate political campaign strategy, aiming to turn this crisis into a compelling election promise. By the time the next election rolls around, I can only imagine how much deeper this crisis will have become. In the meantime, families continue to function near breaking point, and the promise of ‘fixing’ it after a costly ‘report’—all funded by the taxpayer—will seem attractive and a potential vote-winner.

But you don’t need a Royal Commission—just listen to the experts in this field, to families like mine with lived experience, and to the incredible charities that offer support, however limited and financially stretched. We need action to support the social care system today—not politicians endlessly debating. While they continue to discuss, families are left to manage alone.

Families like mine would welcome immediate steps, such as:

1. Dedicated Funding for Social Care: A reliable, ring-fenced fund, like the NHS’s, specifically for social care. This could include a small, progressive tax, ensuring consistent financial support for the elderly and vulnerable and restoring public trust.
2. Partnerships with Not-for-Profit Providers: By waiving certain taxes for not-for-profit organisations providing social care, the government could empower these providers to deliver more extensive, affordable care, easing strain on the public system.
3. Investing in Workforce and Carer Conditions: A critical shortage of trained, well-paid carers needs addressing. Carers deserve fair wages, professional development, and mental health support. Dementia patients need carers with specialised skills, and a properly funded workforce would ensure stable, high-quality care.
4. Financial Relief for Families: Tax credits, subsidies, or capped fees would help families bear the often-overwhelming costs of care. Dementia patients require years of specialised care, making financial support essential.
5. Focus on Community-Based, At-Home Care: Institutional care is costly and often less effective. Community-based and home care options provide a more affordable, personalised alternative, allowing families to play a central role in their loved ones’ care.
6. Immediate and Long-Term Goals with Actionable Deadlines: Politically sensitive or not, real action is needed now. An independent commission should set enforceable deadlines and identify urgent reforms—starting with tax relief for not-for-profits and ensuring immediate support for at-home care.

Each of these solutions requires investment. Experts estimate that adequate social care would cost billions, but the price of inaction is even higher. Without reform, the NHS will continue to face bottlenecks as beds are occupied by patients with no support at home. Families like mine will continue to bear the emotional and financial toll of caring for loved ones, often with little or no external help.

It’s time to move beyond empty promises. By funding these solutions and implementing expert-backed reforms, we can create a social care system that truly respects and supports the elderly and vulnerable.

The generation that built this country deserves nothing less.