Kimberley Harmer is a Conservative activist and community Ambassador. She is a senior caseworker for Charlie Dewhirst MP and chairs a youth charity.
I’m a Conservative, and proud of it.
But I know what some people immediately think when they hear that.
They picture privilege, private schools, and inherited wealth; the Bridget Jones’s Diary dinner scene comes to mind, with its caricature of “fat, balding Tory home-counties upper-middle-class twits”. That stereotype still lingers. People imagine Conservatives as out of touch or uncaring. But that is not really who we are.
Sometimes being a Conservative has meant being judged harshly. At a local charity event, someone called me a “posh Tory” because I wore a blue suit, unaware that it came from a charity shop and my shoes from a second-hand app.
On other occasions, strangers in pubs have confronted me about my politics or hurled abuse, calling me “Tory scum” and “Self-entitled rich b*%#” when I kindly highlighted that I value their voice and opinion, however, I was having a night off politics and was happy to discuss on another more appropriate occasion. Unfortunately, they became threatening simply because of what they thought were my political beliefs. These moments are disheartening, but they also highlight why outdated stereotypes are so misleading.
These stale caricatures couldn’t be further from the truth for so many of us. Conservatives aren’t defined by wealth, status, or by the way we dress or use our words. We are defined by our belief in hard work, compassion, aspiration, and the value of opportunity, values I learned the hard way.
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon.
I grew up on a council estate where every penny counted, and living in a home where our toilet was outside. My mother, widowed at 22 after my father took his own life, raised me alone. She worked tirelessly to make ends meet and taught me early that if you wanted something in life, you had to work hard and earn it.
When my mum remarried, we later moved to the countryside, but life didn’t get easier.
Our small house had no central heating, no gas, and single-glazed windows that froze inside with icicles hanging each winter. We woke to see our breath in the air, yet we were grateful for what we had. There were many times that a stale piece of bread was all we could eat, as funds were so tight. But my mum, no matter what, ensured I was fed and loved. I often remind my children that pride, perseverance, and effort matter far more than possessions. Those lessons, that determination and resilience are worth more than wealth, are the essence of Conservatism at its best.
Life dealt another devastating blow when my mother died in a car crash at just 45, when I was 24. My childhood and early adulthood were marked by poverty, instability, and domestic abuse at the hands of my stepfather and others. Those experiences shaped my compassion, my strength, and my determination to protect others from harm.
By my early twenties, I was determined to build a better life. I ran a small business, built from scratch through sheer determination. It gave me pride, independence, and purpose. It embodied true Conservative values: self-reliance, enterprise, and responsibility.
Then illness struck. I live with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, angina, endometriosis, and adenomyosis. Later, cervical cancer cells and surgery meant I lost the ability to have more children. These challenges tested my strength in every sense, physically, mentally, and emotionally. When my health declined, I had to close my business. Soon after, I went through a traumatic divorce. At 32, I was forced to start again with nothing but my two children and a lot of determination.
I had to claim welfare, not by choice, but necessity. I’d lost my health, my home, and my income. I know what it feels like to eat baked beans for days so my children could have a hot meal. I remember sitting in the dark, waiting for my benefits to start, wrapping my children in blankets because we couldn’t afford the gas. Heat or eat. But we survived.
Even then, I never lost my determination to rebuild. Welfare gave me a hand up, not a handout, and that’s what the system should always do: restore dignity, not foster dependency. Just as Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and Motability help people live independently, schemes like Access to Work have allowed me to cover the extra costs of medication, mobility aids, and specialist support. These forms of help empower people to work, contribute, and live fully.
Our welfare system needs serious reform.
While it can provide a lifeline for those in genuine need, too often it holds people back instead of helping them move forward. I’ve seen firsthand how a hand up, not a handout, can transform lives, and I believe the system must be redesigned to restore dignity, empower people, and create genuine opportunities for independence. I discussed these ideas in my piece, How to rebuild Britain’s welfare state with responsibility and compassion, and I will be revisiting this issue in depth soon, advocating for practical changes that balance support with accountability.
Life often felt overwhelming. Between health struggles, financial strain, and raising my children alone, it sometimes seemed that whenever one part of life improved, another fell apart, much like that famous Bridget Jones line: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”
Yet somehow, I kept finding the strength to rebuild. Every setback reinforced my belief in resilience, perseverance, and the Conservative principle that we must take responsibility for ourselves while supporting others. It’s the same resilience I aim to instil in my children, the young people I mentor, and my community.
Then came Martin, my wonderful husband. He believed in me when I didn’t fully believe in myself. Together, we now run a small business, a daily reminder of the value of hard work, resilience, and self-reliance. His support has enabled me to rebuild, study, and continue my work in politics, community, and charity.
The Conservative Party has invested in me, too. Through training, mentoring, and networks, I’ve been able to turn my experiences into action, advocating for victims of domestic abuse, young people facing trauma, and people living with disabilities. Being part of initiatives like the Bolingbroke Cohort of The Conservatives Together Fellowship, serving as CWO Area Chairman for East Yorkshire and Humber, Regional Chair for CFoSB, and CPF Regional Ambassador for Humber and Yorkshire, has given me the confidence and tools to make a real difference.
Today, I’m proud to work as a Senior Caseworker for Charlie Dewhirst MP. I also serve as Chairman of Fuse Youth Services, a School Governor, and an NHS Governor, roles that reflect my belief in service and opportunity. My children share that pride, seeing what it means to fight for others, give back, and lead with integrity.
As a survivor of domestic abuse, I know what fear feels like, the silence, the shame, and the long journey to healing. That’s why I fight for trauma-informed systems and stronger protections for victims, not just as a politician, but as someone who has lived it.
Conservatism, to me, isn’t about privilege. It’s about aspiration, resilience, and the belief that opportunity should be available to everyone. It’s a responsibility with compassion, giving people the tools to stand tall and helping them up when life knocks them down.
Every role I hold, from supporting victims to mentoring young people, is grounded in Conservative principles: self-reliance, community, fairness, and the belief that dignity matters.
I see that same spirit in leaders like Kemi Badenoch, bold, principled, and committed to making opportunity real for all. That’s the kind of leadership that inspires me: Proud, principled, and compassionate.
That’s the kind of Conservatism I’m proud to stand for: practical, compassionate, and determined.
Every role I hold, from supporting victims to mentoring young people, is grounded in Conservative principles: self-reliance, fairness, community, and dignity.
We’ve all had moments when life tried to break us, but Conservatives know how to rebuild. We’re not just the party of success stories; we’re the party of survival stories.
And for women like me, who’ve lived through poverty, abuse, illness, and rebuilding, survival is political. It teaches us why we must keep fighting for others.
If life has taught me anything, it’s this: Conservatives invest in people, believe in potential, and help turn adversity into achievement. That is the Conservative spirit I live by, in my family, my community, and my country.
conservativehome.com (Article Sourced Website)
#Kimberley #Harmer #dont #background #expect #Conservative #prouder #Conservative #Home