How to Have a Happy Marriage That Actually Lasts | The Skinny Confidential

You’ve probably heard marriage “advice” like happy wife, happy life and always keep your marriage 50/50. Cute, catchy, but extremely outdated.

A marriage doesn’t thrive because you split everything down the middle or constantly compromise just to keep the peace. It works because two people learn to grow together and individually. 

It also works because you agree to put in the time, effort, and consistency that marriages need to succeed. It’s layered, dynamic, and yes, sometimes complex. But that’s normal. 

If you want a marriage that’s genuinely happy and built to last you need better guidance than recycled clichés. So we’re sharing research-backed strategies that support real connection, long-term intimacy, and a relationship that actually feels good to be in. 

Here’s how to have a healthy marriage:

How to Have a Happy Marriage That Actually Lasts

Lauryn and Michael have been married since 2016. In that time, they haven’t just been united personally, but professionally too.

Together, Lauryn and Michael manage The Skinny Confidential, Dear Media and recently acquired Obé Fitness. They co-host The HIM & HHER Show all while maintaining their marriage and raising their three beautiful children. 

Usually, marriage and business don’t mix. But these two have a super strong union built on a foundation of proven relationship principles that lead to marital success. 

In this post, we’ll talk about exactly how Lauryn and Michael, as well as thousands of couples, do it. We’ll explore how they’ve kept their spark, grown together, and maintained a strong, healthy marriage.

What Percentage of Marriages Are Happy?

Research finds that 70%-80% of married couples say they’re happy. That number is pretty encouraging! Especially if you’ve heard the distorted statistic that “half of marriages end in divorce.” 

That number isn’t actually accurate. Only about 33% of first-time marriages end in divorce, and that number is actually going down every year. 

We think this decline in divorces comes partially from people marrying later and being more selective about their partners. But it also comes from better access to relationship education.

There are also marriage books, podcasts, classes, and articles just like this one that give men and women the knowledge they need to cultivate a successful marriage. 

What Makes a Happy Marriage?

Trust

When couples trust each other, each person feels a sense of security and reliability. This allows them to be fully themselves. There’s no jealousy, fear, or second-guessing. 

There’s also something so reassuring about knowing you have someone to lean on and rely on, no matter the circumstances. 

Shared Values

Couples that have shared values have fewer conflicts. If you have the same views on money, parenting, work-life balance, and everything else, you’re aligned in stressful seasons, not in opposition. 

Emotional Safety

Couples who respect and care about each other’s emotions communicate much better than those who don’t. 

There’s a quiet sense of security knowing that you can be vulnerable without fear of judgment or resentment. This prevents shutdowns, defensiveness, and withdrawal that can drive a wedge in intimacy. 

Respect

When you respect someone, it completely changes how you view their best and worst traits. Couples who respect each other always appreciate their spouse and maintain dignity through conflicts. 

Openness

Openness and honesty are the foundation of a happy marriage. When you confidently know that you and your spouse don’t have secrets, you can count on clear, ongoing communication.

And when there are moments of confusion? You both ask questions and seek more information to better understand each other in a judgment-free way.

Friendship

You’ve probably heard people say, “You should never stop dating your spouse.” Another cliché, but this one does hold some truth to it. Marriage is work but it should be fun too. 

And not because it needs grand gestures but because a connection can’t maintain itself. When you’re more deeply connected as friends, it makes every day more enjoyable.

Dr. Terry and Heather Dubrow are a super good example of this. They’re known in the reality TV space as having an incredible marriage going on three decades, which is kind of unheard of in Hollywood. 

In their interview with TSC, Heather tells Lauryn, “We’re best friends… we like each other. We really do! We respect each other,” when talking about how she and Terry have had such a healthy marriage. That kind of friendship will keep marriage strong long after the honeymoon phrase fades.

Balance

In a marriage, two does become “one,” but that doesn’t mean you suddenly lose your sense of self. The strongest relationships are built when both partners feel supported, not just as a couple, but as individuals.

Encourage your partner in their own hobbies, passions, and goals even when they don’t necessarily involve you. 

Growth shouldn’t feel threatening to a marriage; it should feel exciting. And, most importantly, it invites necessary balance.

Effort

Relationships experience highs and lows, no matter how happy they are. It’s the consistent, unprevailing effort that keeps things strong. 

The promise to show up every day, good or bad, builds trust and makes a marriage strong. That kind of stability is what allows a marriage to truly thrive year after year.

Growth

People change. That’s true even in a marriage. In healthy relationships, the couples evolve together rather than growing apart. 

Terry Dubrow also mentioned his episode that happy marriages come down to managing expectations. He shared that you have to expect challenges and change. Nothing stays the same forever, and learning how to evolve through those shifts is part of staying connected.

This means staying curious about who your partner is becoming, not just who they were when you first met. It also means allowing space for new perspectives, priorities, and phases of life, and approaching them together. 

Marriage isn’t about staying the same; it’s about learning how to grow in the same direction.

What Are the Signs of a Happy Marriage?

+ You feel calm and secure in the relationship, not anxious or on edge.

+ Disagreements don’t threaten the relationship because they get resolved.

+ You laugh together regularly and enjoy ordinary moments.

+ You feel supported in your goals, not limited by the partnership.

+ Time apart strengthens the relationship rather than creating distance.

+ You default to assuming good intent.

+ You recover quickly after conflict instead of holding grudges.

+ Even when the other isn’t present, you speak about each other respectfully.

How to Be Happy in Your Marriage

Build the relationship on integrity.

Michael always says that integrity is the foundation of a relationship. It’s essential that you’re both honest, respectful, and consistent. 

It’s not just with the big things either. Michael and Lauryn both emphasized the importance of being on time, following through, respecting boundaries, and communicating directly every day. 

Those daily behaviors may seem small, but they’re what create emotional safety, trust, and long-term connection.

Trade expectations for communication. 

There’s almost nothing that erodes a relationship faster than assumptions and expectations. Many couples struggle here, and over time, those silent expectations turn into resentment and bitterness that quietly break down the relationship.

For example, instead of expecting your spouse to know you want them to help with a specific task and then feeling upset when they don’t, try to ask directly. Your partner isn’t a mind-reader, and clarity prevents unnecessary frustration.

The same applies to emotional misunderstandings. If something your spouse did feels like a slight, address it openly and give them space to explain their reasoning. More often than not, it’s a misunderstanding or a well-intended action that just missed the mark.

Open communication without expectations can totally transform your marriage, replacing negative assumptions with curiosity and understanding.

Keep your identity in the partnership. 

In a marriage, you shouldn’t just “disappear” into the role of spouse. Neither partner should constantly defer to the other’s wishes or abandon their own ambitions for the sake of convenience.

To maintain your identity, it’s important to keep your own interests, friendships, routines, and personal goals. While these should align with your shared values as a couple, maintaining independence allows both partners to grow, individually and together.

Make time for each other every day.

Life gets busy, especially when you add careers, kids, and other commitments into the mix. But no matter what, make time for each other daily. 

You don’t need to block off hours or plan something big. Instead, focus on being intentional with the time you already have together. 

That might look like sharing a morning ritual, like coffee or a walk. It could be doing a daily task together, like cooking dinner or folding laundry. Even a short, thoughtful note tucked into their work bag can go a long way.

And when you are spending quality time together, put your phone away. It’s super important not just to make the time, but to really be present for it, too.

Flirt with each other and go on regular dates. 

Flirting and regular dates keep the emotional connection in your marriage alive. You need dedicated time together to talk, decompress, and reconnect without the noise of daily life.

Terry and Heather also talk about this in their interview with Lauryn and Michael. They pointed out how a lot of marriages struggle during and shortly after having kids, because couples stop prioritizing the marriage. 

They say (and we totally agree)‌ that dating each other consistently and intentionally is one of the biggest reasons marriages stay strong during parenting and beyond.

When intimacy is strong, flirting feels natural, and things stay spicy. Dates help clear out the stress and distractions that could be preventing you from cultivating closeness and an amazing sex life. 

Dates don’t have to be elaborate. Even staying in counts if you treat it like a real date—dress up a little, change the routine, and be intentional. (Maybe even roleplay, if things have gotten vanilla in the bedroom.)

Regular flirting keeps the relationship playful and reminds both partners they’re still wanted. It’s one of the simplest ways to keep a marriage feeling alive and connected.

For more help, read our post on how to put the spice back in your marriage. 

Never keep score—operate as a team.

No matter what anyone tells you, marriage isn’t 50/50 . . . and it shouldn’t be. When couples try to split everything perfectly in half (bills, chores, time with the kids, even rest) it leads to resentment and scorekeeping.

There will be seasons when you’re able to give 90, and your spouse only has the capacity for 10. Illness, mental health struggles, a big work project, or other stressors can all shift the balance.

Other times, the roles will reverse, and you’ll be the one needing extra support. In a healthy marriage, there’s always a partner willing to step in and carry more when needed.

Instead of expecting 50/50, remember that you’re a team. The goal isn’t equal output, it’s both partners showing up and doing their best for each other, no matter what. 

Share a vision for your future. 

Lots of relationship experts agree that having a shared vision for your future gives a marriage purpose and direction.

Marriage researcher John Gottman refers to this as “creating shared meaning” in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (which we highly recommend).

When you know where you’re going together, you share a clear sense of why. That shared purpose helps couples navigate difficult seasons with less conflict and fewer power struggles.

Even when one or both partners are sacrificing more in a given season, it feels intentional rather than one-sided because you’re working toward the same future.

A healthy marriage is built on trust, effort, and shared growth.

Marriage isn’t easy. Even with all the right strategies and shared values, there will still be plenty of ups and downs. 

But remember, love is a choice, not a feeling. For a marriage that stands the test of time and brings you true joy, prioritize deep connection and active teamwork.

If you want marriage advice from the experts and the ones who practice what they preach, check out these podcast episodes with Dr. Phil and Robin McGraw, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, and of course, Dr. Terry and Heather Dubrow.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Listen to marriage tips straight from Lauryn and Michael here.

++ Learn how to create intimacy and nurture relationships.