How to Build Consistent Quiet Times That Actually Fit Your Life

Simple, practical steps to grow consistent quiet times with God – without shame, legalism, or all-or-nothing thinking.

For years, I wanted to be consistent in my quiet times.

I pictured myself like one of those women I admired – Bible open, journal beside her, coffee steaming, peacefully meeting with God every morning.

But in reality? My quiet times were spotty at best.

I wanted to be faithful. I intended to read my Bible and pray. But life was full of interruptions and excuses that felt completely valid in the moment:

• I was up half the night with insomnia.
• One of the kids was sick.
• Guests were staying with us and threw off my rhythm.
• The holidays were busy, and my routine was off.
• Or honestly…sleep just felt more urgent than Scripture.

And when I looked around and saw women who seemed to fit it in so easily, I felt ashamed. Was I just a “bad Christian”?

I thought of Paul’s words: “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:19, ESV).

That was me. I wanted to do the “good” of meeting with God, but I couldn’t seem to follow through.

If you’ve ever felt that tension between the desire for more of God and the reality of busy, imperfect days, you’re not alone.

And here’s the good news: things can change. I know because they did for me.

From Shame to Desire

Today, I’ve had daily quiet times for years. Not perfect ones (life still throws curveballs), but consistent ones.

And here’s what changed: quiet time stopped being a box to check and became a relationship to nurture.

I don’t sit down with my Bible to impress anyone. I don’t do it to make God happy with me. I don’t even do it to be “a good Christian.”

I do it because I desperately need Him. Because my heart aches to be with my Father.

That shift from shame-driven discipline to desire-driven consistency made all the difference (I talk more about that concept in this article – Working Hard vs. Powering Through: How To Lean Into God’s Strength In Life’s Demands).

And it didn’t happen overnight. It happened one small choice at a time.

Step 1: Start Minusculely Small

When I first began building consistency, I didn’t aim for an hour with a Bible, commentary, and worship playlist.

I started with five minutes.

Five minutes to read one verse.
Five minutes to journal a short prayer.
Five minutes to sit quietly with God.

That was it.

And the win wasn’t how much I did. The win was that I showed up.

It’s the same approach I used when I lost 100 pounds. “One small change” at a time. Something doable, realistic, bite-sized.

That principle works in spiritual health just as much as physical health (and every area of life, really).

Step 2: Anchor It in Time

I tried moving my quiet time around each day, fitting it wherever I could. Spoiler: it didn’t work for me.

What finally stuck was choosing a consistent time: 6:30–7:00 every morning.

That slot became sacred for me. It wasn’t about waiting until my schedule freed up (because it never really did). It was about designating a time and honoring it.

Now, it’s part of my morning rhythm:

• Wake at 6:00
• Grab coffee
• Do a workout video until 6:30
• Quiet time from 6:30–7:00

That “habit stacking” – linking my quiet time to what already existed – made it feel more automatic. By tying a new habit to one I already had, it became second nature. For me, finishing my workout was the cue: as soon as I rolled up my mat, my brain knew it was Bible time.

That kind of rhythm removes decision fatigue and makes it easier to follow through.

That “autopilot” comes after a lot of practice and repetition, making that habit feel more and more familiar and built into your daily rhythm.

Step 3: Be Prepared

Sometimes the biggest barrier wasn’t desire, it was logistics.

I’d sit down…and realize my pen was out of ink. Or I didn’t know what passage to read. Or my journal was buried in the other room.

So I started preparing ahead a bit better. I gathered:

• my Bible
• my journal
• a pen that worked
• the devotional or study I wanted to use

All in one place, ready to grab.

That little step removed decision fatigue and made it easy to show up.

Step 4: Add Structure (But Keep It Flexible)

At first, I just opened my Bible randomly and felt lost. I knew I needed some structure – something to guide me so I didn’t sit there staring at blank pages.

Over the years, my structure has shifted:

The structure changes, but the consistency remains.

And here’s the grace part: quiet times don’t have to look the same every day.

Vacations, sick kids, busy weeks – life changes the rhythm. Sometimes I only have ten minutes. Sometimes my toddler joins me with his own coloring journal. And sometimes I miss a day altogether.

That doesn’t mean I’ve “failed.” It means I’m living life with God, not legalism.

For a long time, I treated quiet times with an all-or-nothing, black-and-white mindset. If I couldn’t do the perfect, full version, I’d just skip it altogether. But that kind of thinking only kept me stuck.

Sometimes the right thing really is to skip that morning quiet time – like when a child is sick or I desperately need rest. And sometimes the right thing is to recognize the setback and then follow through on my plan as normally as I can.

I try to live with a rhythm that’s both intentional and interruptible, setting aside time for the Lord while also being flexible enough to respond to life’s interruptions without shame.

Step 5: Invite Gentle Accountability

I hesitate to use the word “accountability” here because it tends to have a harsh connotation. Nobody was standing over my shoulder checking in on me. I didn’t create an accountability group or sign a contract.

But I did talk about my desire for consistency in my quiet times with friends.

Simply saying it out loud and putting words to my desire gave me gentle accountability. Sometimes, a friend shared the same goal and we encouraged each other along the way.

It wasn’t pressure. It was companionship.

Step 6: Rely on Discipline, Not Motivation

Here’s the truth: most mornings, I don’t wake up overflowing with motivation.

Motivation is fickle. It doesn’t carry you very far.

What I rely on instead is discipline. Not a cold, harsh discipline, but a loving one.

I actually shy away from the word “discipline” because it can sound so harsh, cold, and unrelational. But for me, discipline simply means choosing to show up even when I don’t feel like it, because I know that consistency builds intimacy.

I often ask myself: Who is the woman I want to be? And what steps do I need to take to move closer to her?

For me, that means being a woman who prioritizes her relationship with God by setting aside regular time to be with Him.

Because I know the fruit that grows from that choice:

• I feel His peace even in chaos.
• I see His hand of faithfulness all over my life.
• I recognize and experience His goodness.
• I sense His presence more tangibly in the everyday moments.
• I thirst for Him more the more time I spend with Him.

The investment always pays off.

A Word About Grace

If you hear nothing else, hear this: quiet time is relational, not rigid.

Setbacks aren’t failure. Missing a day isn’t the end.

God isn’t keeping score. He’s inviting you closer.

And when you miss it? It’s not a broken rule. It’s just a missed conversation. One you can pick right back up tomorrow.

James 4:8 promises, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

That’s the hope. That’s the invitation.

A Blessing for You

If you’ve felt the shame of inconsistency or the weight of comparison, may that burden be lifted from your shoulders.

May your quiet times become less about duty and more about delight.

May you see setbacks not as failure, but as gentle reminders to return to your Father’s presence.

And may your soul learn to crave Him in the ordinary, everyday minutes of your life.

Amen.