For the past couple weeks, green dildos (and one purple dildo) have been thrust upon the court at multiple WNBA games across the country, and the reason why is no longer a mystery. As it turns out, it was a bunch of douchebag cryptobros who were trying to promote their memecoin cryptocurrency, for some of the most annoying reasons ever cited for doing anything in the history of the world.
A spokesperson for the group (seriously?) has reached out to the media, explaining that the dildos were a protest. Not a protest of the WNBA, but a protest of what they consider a “toxic” cryptocurrency culture, in favor of the wholesome whimsy of throwing dicks at women who are trying to do their jobs.
Just like Gandhi!
Despite the fact that one of their dildos actually hit Indiana Fever player Sophie Cunningham, who had just posted recently on social media asking them to stop doing this because they could hurt one of the players, they want to be clear that they’re not doing this out of disrespect for women or women’s sports.
Via USA Today:
“We didn’t do this because like we dislike women’s sports or, like, some of the narratives that are trending right now are ridiculous,” he said. “Creating disruption at games is like, it happens in every single sport, right? We’ve seen it in the NFL, we’ve seen it in hockey, you know . . . fans doing random things to more or less create attention.
“We knew that in order to get a voice in the space … we had to go out and do some viral stunts to save us from having to pay that influencer cabal, sacrifice our souls and the fate of the project.”
Aw, they wanted a voice! They felt silenced. “Influencers” wouldn’t promote their product for free and expected to be paid for such services, denying them the free advertisement they are entitled to as Americans. So they decided, instead of paying someone to promote their product, they’d get attention off the backs of people they clearly think are less deserving.
The spokesman explained that catapulting sex objects (with drawn-on sunglasses and the name of their coin) is to spread awareness about a culture they want to perpetuate, cultivated around jokes, pranks and various stunts. The green sex toy is supposed to mirror a green candle, and if the price of the candle goes up, it represents volatility, which the spokesman for the meme coin group claims is a trader’s dream. The bright color of the object was intentional, he said, to be disruptive and create curiosity.
I admit that I know pretty much nothing about cryptocurrency beyond the fact that it is bad for the environment and a popular hobby for those who happen to be the last person you’d ever want to get stuck talking to at a party — also, sometimes they kidnap and torture other people, which they also say is a prank, to get their crypto passwords — but I feel confident in saying that all of this just sounds really, really, deeply stupid.
“Moving forward, we have a lot more pranks, but they’re a lot lighter. They’re a lot more tasteful,” the spokesman said. “They’re with a lot of different branded merch, and it’s more or less to keep the dildo being spotted in different places that are high-traffic areas with cameras.”
The coordinated effort is a strategic protest against what the meme coin creators view as a small group of individuals controlling the crypto space. From the beginning, part of the group’s mission has been to cause enough chaos to “get a voice” and media attention. The spokesman said they’ve since secured that and plan to continue with their rollout, though wouldn’t reveal what the group has planned next.
So, these guys just want to have a “voice” and yet they won’t listen to women who use their voices to ask them to please stop throwing dildos at them. Cute! The group has already spawned copycats, two of whom have been arrested, because now people think that throwing dildos at female basketball players is a super cool fun trend.
If you haven’t guessed by now, these folks are clearly pretty Trump-y, and were very excited to share an image shared by Donald Trump Jr. of Trump throwing a green dildo at WNBA players from the White House roof — not the first time the man has thrust a penis onto someone who didn’t want it.
They also think it’s pretty funny to throw dildos at children, which seems like an important thing to bring up given the Right’s hysterical insistence that knowing that gay people, trans people, and drag queens exist somehow “sexualizes” children.
The people in the comments on the original post, all also quite Trumpy (because, let’s be real, “hur hur I threw a dildo at someone’s head” is pretty much the epitome of right-wing humor), thought this was hilarious as well.
Gee, it’s almost as if they don’t care anywhere near as much about “sexualizing children” if it’s not also about demonizing LGBTQ+ people. Sort of like how they all really cared about “child sex trafficking” and Jeffrey Epstein until they got scared that it could hurt Trump.
In a less idiotic time, this would not have been a successful venture. However, according to USA Today, “the meme coin has increased in value nearly 309% in the last seven days and more than 80% in the last 24 hours. It has a 24-hour trading volume of more than $1.3 million.”
The unidentified spokesperson pointed out that this is not the first time that objects or even other sex toys have been thrown at a professional sports game. This is true. That being said, there’s a pretty big difference between Buffalo Bills fans throwing dildos at Patriots games and cryptobros throwing dildos at WNBA games — particularly when women’s sports are so frequently devalued (except for when people need to use them to attack trans women). Throwing a dildo at a woman has, you might say, a whole different vibe.
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www.wonkette.com (Article Sourced Website)
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