It’s day two after President Bone Spurs bombed Iran, welcome to a dumpster fire full of burning tires and poop bags! The pre-emptive strikes on Iran by Israel and the US violated international law and US law.
NO NEW WARS Trump did not ask for permission from Congress for Operation Midnight Hammer, the bombing operation that’s also its own porn parody title. (Make your own jokes about Pete Hegseth and “Midnight Hammered” here.) There was no imminent threat, as Iran did not have a nuclear weapon. And according to SecDef [hic!] Hegseth, the Pentagon did not even notify Congress that the strikes were happening until the bombers had already left, much less ask their permission. Hegseth et al. did not ask Europe for input.
All because Iran was allegedly not following an agreement that the US was not a part of, because Donald Trump backed out of it in the first place! The United Nations held an emergency Security Council meeting and condemned the attack, as did pretty much every other country in the world except for Israel.
And ooops, after some grilling at his press conference yesterday, SecDef Toughskins and General Dean “Razin” Caine conceded that in spite of using 75 precision guided weapons and 14 GBU-57 Massive Ordnance Penetrators, and in spite of Bone Spurs crowing that Iran’s nuclear capabilities had been “totally obliterated,” er, ahem, that did not actually happen: “It would be way too early for me to comment on what may or may not still be there.” (Razin’ Caine, wasn’t Cain a bad guy in the Bible? World’s first murderer and all? LOL, MAGA does not read the Bible.)
Within hours we learned that the Fordo facility was damaged but not destroyed, and oops whoops, the Iranians had moved that 880 pounds of uranium enriched to 60 percent purity, and now no one knows where it is. Is the world safer yet? Is Israel safer yet? Dear Leader is denying on Truth Social that the strike did not do what he said it done did, even as his own Secretary of Defense admitted it:
Monumental Damage was done to all Nuclear sites in Iran, as shown by satellite images. Obliteration is an accurate term! The white structure shown is deeply imbedded (sic) into the rock, with even its roof well below ground level, and completely shielded from flame. The biggest damage took place far below ground level. Bullseye!!!
He only bombed three sites, he did not even try for all 19-something of them, but go off.
And oops, hours after Trump, Pete Hegseth, and JD Vance, and Marco Rubio, the four microdicks of the apocalypse, got out there and told the world in no uncertain terms that the “mission was not and has not been about regime change,” Bone Spurs made liars and fools of his brain trust by pounding on his shitty platform that he wants regime change now after all.
It’s not politically correct to use the term, “Regime Change,” but if the current Iranian Regime is unable to MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN, why wouldn’t there be a Regime change??? MIGA!!!
Regime change in Iran, what would that take? It’s a country of 91 million people, many of whom hate the US with a blazing passion ever since the CIA engineered a coup in 1953 to overthrow their democratically elected leader who planned to nationalize the oil industry, and re-install the Shah, who was friendly with the US.
Regime change would take much more than “surgical” strikes, it would take boots on the ground, analysts say 1.6 million of them. It would not be an easy takeover even then, as Iran is ringed by mountains too steep for tanks to roll over. And once boots are on the ground, and the sunk cost fallacy sets in (if it hasn’t already), there’s no takeback-sies. A ground invasion would be like Afghanistan, but way worse, because more Iranians hate us, and the Strait of Hormuz between Iran and Oman creates a bottleneck where any ship that comes into the Persian Gulf is vulnerable to being fired on. And then, there are rings of mountains stuffed with surface-to-air missiles that could effectively trap any soldiers that are there, like a bait station. Soldiers may make it in, but there is no easy way out. Boots on the ground would be a black hole of endless war.
And now Iran’s parliament has voted to close the Strait of Hormuz, with the Ayatollah having the final say, and Reuters reports that oil tankers are already turning around to avoid the Gulf. If closure happens, how long until the US starts bombing to “protect free trade”? Place your bets.
Why would Trump want to lead us into an endless war? Probably for the same reason Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu does, to try to stay in power forever. War abroad, civil war at home, better suspend elections! But we are cynical. So is Bill Clinton.
War in Iran would be a win for other countries besides the US, though. Russia and China get a distracted, weakened US. Israel gets the US fighting its wars for it. The military-industrial complex gets all the weapon-making work it can handle.
If the US succeeded in occupying Iran it would get to control international trade through the strait, and the fourth largest oil reserves in the world, and it would become the dominant power in the Middle East, very enticing for any ruler who would like an empire. But that is not likely to happen, not without a draft of millions of soldiers and years, possibly even decades, of war, and probably not even then.
America Firsters were outraged by the bombing, because how many times did Trump promise NO NEW WARS? Practically every goddamn day. But as no dissent is allowed in MAGA, they quickly coalesced to support their Lord and Savior, and repeated the sentence, “If you’re no longer MAGA because Trump wiped out Iran’s nuclear sites, you were never MAGA in the first place,” all over X.
Steve Bannon is of course, now on board. “We don’t like it. Maybe we hate it. But, you know, we’ll get on board.” Charlie Kirk and Jack Posobiec, who had warned of a MAGA schism over the bombing, quickly got on the bus. “This is about the nuclear program of Iran which he promised he would end from day one,” Xitted Posobiec. Horror movie prop Laura Loomer put it more succinctly: “America First is whatever Trump says it is.”
Kentucky Republican Rep. Thomas Massie shows what can happen when MAGA steps out of line. Massie and Democratic Rep. Ro Khanna introduced a resolution to block US involvement in the conflict, and Trump punched out a paragraph-long screed that Massie was a LOSER, “not MAGA,” a grandstander, weak, ineffective, and Trump has already started a PAC to defeat him.
Speak out at your own peril! MAGA has an enemies list, and they’re checking it twice.
PREVIOUSLY:
Oh Did We Say ‘Guess We Are Not Bombing Iran’? Our Mistake!
[NY Times / Washington Post]
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