Wow.
After two days of cricket – and 24 hours after I wrote the obituary for the top six immediately following their Day 1 collapse – Australia are 1-0 up in the Ashes, courtesy of a staggering, momentum-swinging, dramatic, and ultimately historically short, first Test in Perth.
Not for more than 100 years has an Ashes Test been decided by Day 2, while England’s combined 67.3 overs to lose all 20 wickets – perhaps Bazball’s greatest embarrassment yet – is their fewest in a completed Ashes Test since 1988.
The heroes are obvious – Travis Head with THAT century to turn a tight match into a rout; Mitchell Starc’s ten-wicket haul and career best seven-for on Day 1 pipping the South Australian for player of the match honours; Scott Boland and Marnus Labuschagne recovering from Day 1 nightmares with key performances to see the Aussies home; Brendan Doggett proving up to the level in a debut he’ll never forget.
Equally, there were those who flunked the summer’s first major assignment: everyone in an England shirt other than Ben Stokes, Brydon Carse and (maybe) Harry Brook, plus Usman Khawaja, whose inability to open the batting in either innings owing to a back injury reportedly independent of all the golf he’d played in the lead-up has placed his head firmly on the chopping block, especially given Head’s dazzling display in his spot.
Here are The Roar’s player ratings for the first Ashes Test.
Australia
Jake Weatherald – 3.5
Selectors would have had hearts in mouths after the Tasmanian’s first two balls in Test cricket: twice comprehensively beaten for pace by Jofra Archer and pinned LBW for a second-ball duck, Weatherald had about as far from a dream debut as it’s possible to have.
Fielded well and showed glimpses of his talent and aggressive approach on Day 2 before spooning a catch – and a successful DRS overturn of an early caught behind showed his luck had turned – but this was far from a perfect audition from the latest addition to the Australian opening batting revolving door.
More than anyone else in the country, he’s got to be praying that he walks out with Travis Head next to him in Brisbane for the second Test instead of Usman Khawaja, to take scoring pressure off his shoulders.
Usman Khawaja – 0.5
The last Ashes opener saw Khawaja become the hero of Edgbaston with the defining performance of his career; this one could well prove his death knell.
Didn’t open in either innings owing to back spasms that worsened on the second day, while his six-ball 2 before fending a Brydon Carse beaut for a catch behind looked very nearly as painful. Throw in reports of his golfing exploits in the lead-in to the Test, and no one else in the XI attracted anywhere near the level of public scorn as the soon-to-be 39-year old.
Avoids a complete nought with two slips catches for the match, meaning he did contribute something of value … though he did drop a low chance midway through Day 2 as well.
Marnus Labuschagne – 6
Forced to open in the first innings, the issues that have plagued Labuschagne’s batting for the last three years flared up again: struggling for fluency, unable to turn the scoreboard over and attempting to dig in for survival, his eventual chop-on for 9 felt inevitable.
But had a new lease on life in the second dig, no doubt helped by Head’s dominance at the other end: slapping the quicks down the ground, uppercutting Jofra Archer for four over the cordon and latching onto anything short, he was matching Head stroke for stroke by the end, with his 49-ball half-century as well as he has hit the ball in some time.
Steve Smith (c) – 5.5
Captained well, rotated the quicks efficiently and caught everything that came his way in the slips, but thanks to England’s fired-up first evening with the ball, Smith was far from his best with the bat.
The Poms’ greatest tormentor in years gone by had a false shot percentage of nearly 50 per cent, some distance worse than his previous career low; and while he dug out 17 gritty runs, an edge to slip, like Labuschagne’s dismissal, seemed bound to happen eventually.
Has four more chances to make a mark on what might be his last ever Ashes series, and 201 runs to go to leapfrog Jack Hobbs into second for most Ashes runs.
Travis Head – 9.5
Cometh the moment, cometh the man.
The man who always lifts on the biggest stage delivered perhaps his most memorable blitz yet to all but single-handedly wrest the Test from England’s grasp, with a 69-ball hundred that no one who watched it will ever forget.
There were all the Head highlights: uppercuts over the cordon, wild swings at anything short that looked off the bat to have gone straight up in the air but ended up clearing long on for six, flat-batted swats over the bowler’s head … and all while filling in as an opener for the first time in Australian conditions and chasing a difficult target on a pitch that had proved nightmarishly difficult for everyone else.
You’d think it’s worth a 10 … but his Day 1 dismissal flapping a Ben Stokes half-tracker to mid-on just when he’d steadied the ship was so frustrating it’s worth half a mark off. Sorry, Trav.
Cameron Green – 5
He only made 24, but Green looked quite clearly the pick of Australia’s batters amid their Day 1 collapse.
Assured in defence, judging the bounce well and driving fluently when given the chance, the all-rounder combined with Head to rebuild after an early collapse, responded stoically to a Mark Wood short ball cannoning into his grille, and did little wrong in feathering an edge off a Stokes nibbler.
His bowling figures for the match read: three overs, 23 runs, 17 balls of utter dross … and the crucial wicket of Ollie Pope just when England had got on top in the first session on Day 1.
Alex Carey (wk) – 6
Someone in Australia probably put their foot through the TV when Carey, with the team 7/121 late on Day 1, wafted a ramp straight to deep third man to end any hopes of a first-innings lead.
Prior to the brain fade, looked in excellent touch, racing to 26 off just 25 balls with some powerful strokeplay and excellent running between the wickets.
Was typically solid behind the stumps, while convincing Steve Smith to review a strangle down leg from opposite number Jamie Smith in the second innings worked a treat … even if the third umpire’s call was a controversial one.
Mitchell Starc – 9.5
Imagine hitting 123 off 83 balls in a fourth-innings run chase and not being man of the match!
Head’s heroics might be the defining story out of the first Test, but Starc, in a rare outing without either Pat Cummins or Josh Hazlewood backing him up, was a worthy recipient after the greatest performance of his stellar career.
Stepped up with aplomb at the time of greatest need on Day 1 with a Test-best seven-wicket haul, including Zak Crawley in the first over, Joe Root for a duck and Ben Stokes to a thunderbolt, with his pace, bounce and swing all sensational.
Got Crawley again in the first over on Day 2, then chimed in with the key wickets of Root and Stokes (again) to complete a 10-wicket haul.
Perhaps Australia’s most maligned-ever champion, if anyone ever questions Starc’s place among the nation’s greatest ever quicks, just show them the highlights from this Test.
Nathan Lyon – 2
It’s unlikely to ever happen, but once again, Lyon was surplus to requirements in seam-dominated conditions at home to the point where one had to wonder whether it was even worth picking him in the first place.
Sent down just two overs for the match, both on Day 1, and with at least Pat Cummins due to return in Brisbane, it’s worth wondering whether Australia will be brave enough to do what they did in the West Indies and pick four quicks.
Gets a bonus point for apparently being willing to open the batting in the second innings before they settled on Head. Not many tailenders would be that brave.
Scott Boland – 7
Far too full, driven repeatedly down the ground and struggling to get any movement – Day 1 was just about the worst of Boland’s remarkable, late-blooming career.
But just when he seemed unselectable against Bazball’s belligerence, there the Victorian was on Day 2 taking the wickets that turned the Test Australia’s way. Suddenly immaculate once again, he took three wickets in 11 balls to rip the heart out of England’s top order, Ben Duckett, Pope and Brook all edging perfect length deliveries with a hint of movement away into the cordon.
Finished with 4/33 off 11.4 overs, the only Australian innings for the Test with an economy below 3.85 an over.
Brendan Doggett – 6.5
Hardworking, honest, reasonably fast and resilient, Doggett did nothing on debut to suggest he doesn’t belong at the level.
Might have been lucky to have Brook glove one to Carey for his first Test wicket, but it was the scalp that broke the back of England’s first innings, with the South Australian adding a second not long after amid the collapse.
Was carted around early on Day 3, but responded with three lower-order wickets with England swinging for the hills. Don’t discount his gutsy 30-ball seven not out with the bat, either.
England
Zak Crawley – 0
It doesn’t get much worse than an opening-over pair.
England’s highest scorer in the 2023 Ashes, Crawley had himself a nightmare in Perth, his opening-day dismissal jabbing at Starc outside off preceding five balls which couldn’t have been less impressive.
Was unluckier to fall to a Starc screamer in his follow-through in the second innings, but a pair is a pair; he both scored two fewer runs and took two fewer catches than Khawaja, whose performance was so maligned we might have seen someone burn an effigy in the stands had the Test not turned back Australia’s way.
Ben Duckett – 4
As much as Starc’s brilliant bowling and Head’s outrageous batting won the Test for Australia, one could argue Duckett failing to go on when well set in both innings was as crucial as anything to England’s twin collapses.
Made batting look a breeze from virtually ball one in both knocks, driving fluently and punishing any width: but scores of 21 and 28, and being dismissed inside 20 overs twice, left the middle order vulnerable to a still-new ball.
Remains a danger man for the rest of the series.
Ollie Pope – 6
Surely no one expected England’s premier bat in the first Test to be Ollie Pope?
Perhaps the most conventional batter amid the chaos of Bazball, the maligned No.3 looked every inch a batter of quality on Day 1, driving crisply and rotating the strike well, before throwing away a half-century by missing a nothing Green ball that trapped him LBW.
Top-scored with 33 in the second innings despite batting far less convincingly, but couldn’t go on with it.
Has a habit of a major total in the first Test of a series before fading away – he’ll be hoping that wasn’t his high water mark this summer.
Joe Root – 1
The one knock on Root’s superb career – his performances in Australia – just became even more pronounced.
It’s not just his scores of 0 and 8 for the match, it’s the manner of dismissal that suggests he’ll have a hard time this summer coping with juiced-up, seamer-friendly tracks down under: loosely poking at Starc outside off to give slip catching practice on Day 1, then inside-edging the same bowler onto his own stumps 24 hours later.
Six of Root’s 14 Test ducks have come against Australia. Make of that what you will.
Harry Brook – 6
He was unconventional, slogged wildly at anything remotely near him and looked certain to sky a catch any second … but Brook’s Day 1 half-century was the only time all Test Bazball got on top of Australia’s bowlers.
A touch unlucky to glove a pull shot that ended his knock at 52, his duck in the second innings was more worrying, an airy waft outside off for yet another catch in the cordon.
It feels like a whirlwind century from Brook is England’s best avenue towards winning any of the remaining four Tests – is he up to such a knock on his first Test tour down under?
Ben Stokes (c) – 6
Let’s be honest – he might have taken five wickets, but the captain was probably the worst of England’s five-man pace attack late on Day 1.
Stokes was far from terrible, but benefitted from two horror shots – Carey and Head – plus tailenders Starc and Boland, with Green edging behind the clear best ball he bowled.
Managed his attack excellently on Day 1 before Head’s Day 2 counterattack left him without an answer; but as a batter with a penchant for delivering against Australia, he’d have expected far more than his scores of 6 and 2 right in the middle of each day’s collapse.
Jamie Smith (wk) – 6
Arrives in Australia with a burgeoning reputation, and though his Day 1 33 lasted just 22 balls, the wicketkeeper-batter did nothing to diminish it.
A natural strokemaker, he batted beautifully with Brook before holing out trying for quick runs with the tail, then was stiff to be controversially given out caught behind in the second innings off evidence that seemed insufficient to overturn an on-field not out call.
Kept tidily, although like Carey was given little difficulty to work with.
Gus Atkinson – 4
Excellent without reward on Day 1, Atkinson hit a perfect spot, found away movement and bounce, and proved tremendously difficult to get away … and then watched Stokes burgle a five-for bowling half as well.
Then got carted everywhere by Head on Day 2, frazzling the seamer to the point where he resorted to bowling short and about two feet above the South Australian’s head, only to be called twice for wides with this tactic.
A freewheeling 37 at least gave England a defendable total.
Brydon Carse – 6
England’s most expensive bowler, but also their most consistently threatening, Carse ensured England were on top by removing Smith and Khawaja in quick succession late on Day 1 after finding sharp lift out of the pitch to coaxes edges behind the wicket.
Put on 50, England’s second-highest stand for the Test, with Atkinson on Day 2 via some hefty hitting, while you can pretty much ignore the two wickets he claimed in Australia’s second innings, with Head and Weatherald both falling while slogging.
Jofra Archer – 7
The Archer of Day 1 was the Archer every Australian remembers from the 2019 Ashes: menacingly fast and generating hefty bounce, the star quick took just two balls to hand Weatherald a baptism of fire before accounting for Labuschagne too.
Took 2/11 in nine overs of sustained hostility and venom, discomfiting the Aussies enough for Carse and Stokes to scythe through later in the day.
His challenge, though, is stamina: far slower backing up on Day 2, he was savaged by Head and co. for 45 runs in eight overs, including a monster six over his head.
He’ll need far more rest in future to maintain his menace, and given the way England batted in Perth, that seems unlikely.
Mark Wood – 4
Went wicketless, but the brute of a short ball that cannoned into Green’s grill almost before he could react was spine-tinglingly scary.
One of the heroes of the last Ashes series, the expressman was comfortably dealt with on Day 2 in just three overs that leaked 23. Probably needs scoreboard pressure to be at his most dangerous.
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