Well, what do you know, John Robert Bolton II has been indicted by a grand jury in Montgomery County, Maryland, on eight counts of unlawful transmission and 10 counts of unlawful retention of national defense information. And this morning he surrendered at the federal courthouse in Greenbelt. One more scalp for the Weaponization Working Group! Next up, probably, Fulton County DA Fani Willis getting charged with election fraud for hiding payments to a porn star.
Did John Bolton blab nuclear submarine secrets to some Australian billionaire drinking at his tacky golf club? Did he leave Top Secret documents on the side of the bed in place of a wife, and in his shitter? Did he and his mustache spend more than a decade being the best friends of a couple of child sex traffickers? Did Bolton put war plans in a Signal chat?
MUCH WORSE, he took unflattering notes about Trump for his memoir, The Room Where it Happened, and transmitted them to his wife and daughter over AOL and Gmail, because Bolton is the Boomerest Boomer who ever Boomered. And then hackers, probably from Iran, got into Bolton’s accounts, derp! The indictment also claims that Bolton did not tell the FBI that the hackers may have accessed classified information, which Bolton denies. Maybe someday we will find out what a jury thinks!
We already know what Trump thinks, he’s been huffing and puffing that Bolton is the real dumdum and should be in prison ever since his book came out.
But what’s with all of these petty charges? When is Trump going to go after that Deep State of child sex traffickers bottling adrenochrome for elites in pizza shop basements like the QAnons have been expecting him to? Where’s that barge off in Guantanamo Bay for the BIDEN CRIME FAMILY Ginny Thomas was fantasizing to Mark Meadows about? After all, the Supreme Court said Trump can send Seal Team Six to shoot all of his enemies, so pardons, schmardons, what is he waiting around on a jury for?
Trump was sure furious about Bolton’s memoir. He even tried to sue Simon & Schuster to stop publication of it, claiming that his every royal utterance had been marked classified by his mind, but a federal judge ultimately allowed the book to be released.
THROWBACK!
Trump Sues John Bolton Over Upcoming Tell-All, And Yes, THEY CAN BOTH LOSE
Bolton’s revelations were not classified secrets, though, just that Trump is real dumb, sucks up to dictators, tried to meddle in the Justice Department, and that people around Trump mocked him constantly, with Mike Pompeo even once passing Bolton a note that Trump was “full of shit.”
And Bolton dished that before the 2020 election, Trump called up Xi Jinping and begged China to buy more soybeans, to help him win votes from farmers. Guess it didn’t work, so maybe that explains Trump’s nonsensical trade war with them? Bolton also claimed Trump asked him if Finland was a part of Russia, and was unaware that the UK has nukes. And Bolton says Trump reassured Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan that he would “take care” of corruption investigations into Turkish officials in the Southern District of New York, as soon as he could replace the “Obama people” there. It took a whole lot of trying, but eventually Trump did get up that hill!
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Bolton even wrote that he told Attorney General Bill Barr that he was worried about Trump’s lawless ways. But just worried in the impotent Susan Collins kind of way, and not worried enough to testify in Trump’s first impeachment trial. House Republicans blocked his subpoena, but Bolton could have submitted written testimony if he was so worried. Instead, Bolton saved all his worry for the book he got a $2 million advance for. Some patriot!
To refresh, Bolton is a Reagan-era neocon dipped in amber, with a boner for regime change. He got his start as an assistant attorney general under Reagan, and then because Democrats never would have voted to confirm him, Dubya recess-appointed him US ambassador to the United Nations, in spite of Bolton disparaging the UN by saying stuff like, “There is no such thing as the United Nations. There is only the international community, which can only be led by the only remaining superpower, which is the United States.” And “If the UN Secretariat building in New York lost ten stories, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.”
Bolton is a bloodthirsty war hawk who pushed for the US to invade Iraq, tear up OBUMMER’s Iranian nuclear deal, and do regime change and invade Syria, Libya, Venezuela, Cuba, Yemen, and North Korea, and probably we missed a few. He’s pushed conspiracies, like claiming that the CIA’s conclusion that Russia intervened to help Trump in the 2016 election was a “false flag.” Trump considered Bolton for secretary of State, but rejected the idea because he did not like Bolton’s mustache. Everything’s a pageant to the Miss Teen guy!
Bolton’s final falling-out with Trump came when Trump floated the brilliant idea to invite the Afghan leaders of the Taliban to Camp David, right before September 11. What, would that have, like, offended people or something? And when Bolton pushed back on the idea, and it leaked to the press somehow and people were appropriately horrified, Trump asked Bolton to resign.
So, sure, nobody likes John Bolton, for plenty of good reasons. But the President of the United States of America compiling a list of personal enemies that he wants the Department of Justice to harass is some real bad Stalinist-type monkeyshines that nobody should ever be cheering about either, not even when it’s that asshole.
For his part, Trump said in the Oval Office he knows nothing about Bolton’s arrest, but that he’s a bad guy.
Harsher words than he ever had for Ghislaine Maxwell or Jeffrey Epstein! You would think that all of Trump’s buddies would realize by now how crowded it is under the bus with so many of Trump’s former friends sticking to the tire treads. Guess they all think they are his special soulmate who can change him!
And this second-term batch of lackeys sure will never make the mistake of telling Trump any of his ideas are bad. Should have praised Trump’s genius with every breath, Bolton! Live and learn.
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