- I have time to make the bed — For whatever reason, over the past [ehhh, 18?] years I’ve told myself that I don’t have time to make the bed in the morning. That the minute I’m up, I need to go – do something, anything. Eat the toast, play with the baby, do my makeup, start working, and if I stopped to make the bed, I simply wouldn’t have enough time to eat the toast. Breaking news: making the bed takes approximately 1 minute, maybe an extra 30 seconds if you perform the extra karate chop in the pillows. Not only did the bed get made, but in the process that I was re-wiring my brain to trust that I do have the time to make our bed, it felt like my cortisol levels were whispering a gentle “thank you”, which really, just leads me to believe that my insides are thirsty for a slow down, even if it comes in 1.5 minute intervals. To take the extra minutes. To know that I can make the bed [or take the walk, or insert the thing here that you’ve been avoiding for nearly two decades] and that still, your day will be great. Let me rephrase – it will be even better.
- Even with absolutely nothing on my agenda, I still won’t do everything I say I “want” to do. Why? Because I don’t really want to do it. Choose the cabinet pulls, answer that one email, clean out my closet, and the list goes on. It hasn’t been a time issue, it’s been a want issue. And until I’m desperate enough, or feel the pain enough, I’ll continually choose a lunch date with a girlfriend, a nail apt, or reading the latest issue of “Real Simple” over deciding what white shirt to keep and what white shirt to donate. It’s time to stop pretending like I don’t have the time to do things [common theme here between 1 & 2] and come to terms with the fact that when something really matters, I’ll do it. End of story.
- Sometimes it makes missing something to realize how grateful you are to have it. We all know this, but until you experience it, you don’t really feel it. I really missed the LIY Team this week. The connection, the collaboration, the strategy and creativity that they feed my way. I love you girls.
- Walks with absolutely nothing else [no music, no podcast, no phone calls, etc] are incredibly restorative. If there’s one thing I did this week, it’s walk. But not walks in the way I’ve done in the past – the ones where I’m yanking on the dog’s collars to stay away from the dead bird in the middle of the road, or where I’m trying to squeeze in a call with a girlfriend, or listen to the latest Podcast that dropped, but just walks where I look at flowers. Listen to the birds. Take pictures of the sky. Try it sometime – you may walk away from your next walk mentally writing a blog post about 10 things you learned on your week off 😉
- I really like being effective – outside the home. Ever since Crew has been born, there’s been an internal voice that likes to trick me into thinking that I should want to be a stay at home mom, leave the business, and that if I don’t choose that, I am not being a “good” mom, that my motherly nurturing nature isn’t strong, and that my priorities are wrong. This week really gave me clarity around how much I enjoy working outside the home. What it does to fuel me creatively, strategically, collaboratively, emotionally, etc. While I don’t want to pour into it in the same way I did for years prior to becoming a mom [see point #6] I know that it’s an important piece of my life that I am extremely grateful to have and that I’m not ready to let it go. Even if it means having childcare, not being there for every waking moment of his, and feeling a little stressed along the way, I do believe I show up better for him, for my marriage, and for myself by choosing this outlet.
- The fight for “more” is no longer there. While I do love this business, I don’t need it to be anything more than what it’s already become [and it’s okay if it’s even less than it previously was]. And it’s taken me a while to realize that. In the same way that I’ve been putting pressure on myself to want to not perform at all and stay home, I’ve been simultaneously putting pressure on myself that LIY needs to perform at the level it has for the past 10 years, pre-children [and now you can understand the mental burnout I’ve put myself under 😅]. I’m so deeply grateful for what this business has become and what it’s allowed, for my family, for the opportunity to hire other women, to create a community full of loyal followers, however, my time to grind is not now. It served its purpose, it built what it built, and now I’d simply love to nature, maintain, and enjoy the freedom, flexibility, and lifestyle it’s allowed. Yes, that means saying “no” to new opportunities and big ideas, but it does mean saying “yes” to peace, family time, and in this stage of life, that feels like a really important thing to protect.
- Connection with others deeply matters. All in all, I would say this week has been a week of solitude, a LOT of alone time during the days, plenty of time to just exist in my head, in my journal, quiet car rides, etc. And while it’s been nice, it has made me yearn for connection with humans even more deeply and has reiterated what I’ve always believed – we were made to be in community with others. Really engaging with Crew, looking coffee shop workers in the eye and saying hello, going to lunch with friends, calling up a girlfriend to talk, my soul needs these things. As much as I can crave alone time, my well-being needs to be in communication and in the proximity of others to really thrive.
- Doing the next thing you actually feel inclined to do vs what a to-do list is telling you to do can be far more productive and restorative. At the beginning of this week, I had set out with a mile-long list of things that I wanted to accomplish during this time off. By day 2, I realized that the list wasn’t serving me, however, what was, was asking “What sounds best next?” and then just allowing myself to do that thing. Sometimes it meant do a load of laundry, other times it meant read a chapter, one day it meant make a dinner we love, and another day it meant go out to dinner with friends. Did I get my entire closet cleaned out? No, but my bathroom counter looks great [turns out I needed a good ole fashioned counter clean-off more]. I’d love to try to weave a little bit more of this mentality and flow into my daily rhythms. I think it would serve me better, professionally and personally.
- Being bored is good for all of us from time to time. I saw something recently that Glennon Doyle said “But I find myself worrying most that when we hand our children phones we steal their boredom from them. As a result, we’re raising a generation of writers who will never start writing, artists, who will never start doodling, chefs who will never make a mess of the kitchen, athletes who will never kick a ball against a wall, musicians, who will never pick up their aunt’s guitar and start strumming.” It struck a nerve with me – not only for my own child, but for myself. Take a week off and allow yourself to feel bored. That boredom may lead to the next great thing.
- I need to schedule these weeks off more often. It turns out that a week vacation, without a destination, is really freaking wonderful.
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