History is a straight line. Or is it?

I like to think that I am on the right side of History. But really, there is no way of knowing. The history of 2025 is not yet written, so I suppose I just like the fact that when academics in the 22nd century are looking at archives, letters, diaries, documents and the traces left by our internet blogs and comments, they will judge me to have got it right.

Is History always progressive?

We cannot second-guess the Future.

It is a strange phrase, and I wonder when I heard it first. But the right side of History seems to be an amalgam of the idea of Political Correctness (so very 20th century now) and Woke (the 21st century word).

I am politically correct. I am Woke. At least I think I am.

Political Correctness strikes me as no more than good manners. If you were born in the 1950s, you heard and maybe even said words that should never have been said. The N word. The Q word. And the M word. You may have been in a school playground where life was difficult for you because you were overweight, undersized, wore glasses, wore callipers on your legs or were dyslexic (a word we had never heard).

If you were born in the 21st century, the words “Eeny Meeny Miney Mo” will mean nothing. If you are a 20th century boy (or girl) the words will be familiar. They might embarrass you, or you might be proud that you only said the good rhyme…not the bad one.

History is a straight line. Or is it? Maybe the conversations around Race, Gender, Disability, Sex, Comedy, and Art are circular. I was born in 1952. I will die in 1952. It is a return ticket with a scenic route.

Back in the 1960s, discounting visiting stars from Tamla Motown, I can only recall two black people on British TV. One was a fairly minor pop star called Kenny Lynch who would later be a sidekick and golfing friend of Jimmy Tarbuck. And there was Cy Grant an actor who sang a song once or twice a week on Cliff Mitchelmore’s “Tonight” programme. Can any reader of my vintage recall any others from 1960s?

There was, of course, the Black and White Minstrel Show. More about them later.

Of course, I do not remember much about the 1950s but there were not many black actors. The only one I can recall was a black Labrador in “The Dambusters”, the dog owned by hero Guy Gibson. The black dog had a very unfortunate name, so unfortunate you will not hear it on TV now…bleeped out or another name like Fido or Rover dubbed. Ah political correctness cannot actually change things. It rewrites history…..we deserve to know that a RAF chap in a dapper uniform in the 1940s thought nothing of calling his dog a very unfortunate name.

The 1970s were much more enlightened of course. Take Charlie Williams from “The Comedians”. A former professional footballer (Doncaster Rovers), his schtick was his heavy Yorkshire accent, which tended to disarm the punters in northern working men’s clubs. But is there a point where being self-effacing and being self-loathing?

Take Frank Carson, Mike Newman and Pat Mooney (no relation), regulars on “The Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club”. Is “self-loathing” ok if you make a lot of money from it?

Stand-ups were stale. Arthur Askey, Ted Ray, Bob Monkhouse and 43 other dead comics I counted. But staleness is the staple of modern comedy ….Jimmy Carr, Josh Widdicombe, Sarah Millican, Jon Richardson and 74 other 21st-century comedians who are never off the telly.

If you have seen Larry Grayson, you do not need to watch Tom Allen.

Were sitcoms different? Well, two of Britain’s most popular actors, Don Warrington (“Murder in Paradise” ) and Rudolf Walker (“Eastenders”) started off in sitcoms, “Rising Damp” and “Love Thy Neighbour”.

For some reason, “Rising Damp” is held to be a classic, and “Love Thy Neighbour” is held to be offensive.

But the 1970s was a time when Spike Milligan was considered progressive. As was Monty Python. Yet Spike and the Pythons treated women very badly. Spike even appeared with Kenny Lynch in a sitcom called “Curry and Chips” in which he appeared as an Indian. It was so offensive that it was quickly cancelled. On the other hand, legit actor Michael Bates played an Indian in “It Ain’t Half Hot Mum”.

But it was not just Race that was problematic in sitcoms. At 7pm on a Sunday evening, we could watch a group of young doctors who seemed more interested in discussing the NHS with pretty nurses. Surely that can’t be right.

Or we could watch “On The Buses”. Who did not love Blakey? But a year ago, I watched an episode on a satellite channel. Driver Stan and Conductor Jack earned a bonus by trialling pink, high-fashion uniforms. So far…so camp. But they met some Swedish “birds” and seduced them by telling them they were airline pilots.

But hold on…is seducing a woman on a falsehood not….a bit criminal. Well, obviously not at 7pm on a Sunday night circa 1973.

Of course, from the Summer of Love in 1967, morality was in a kinda freefall. Cinema and TV pushed the boundaries. Young actresses chatted to Eamonn Andrews and Michael Parkinson to assure him that they only got naked if the role called for it. It turns out a lot of roles called for it.

A sub-genre of British cinema led by “Confessions of a Pop Performer”, “Confessions from a Holiday Camp”, “Confessions of a Window Cleaner” (the best of them or…….so I have been told), “Rosie Dixon, Night Nurse”, “Au Pair Girls”…..I should probably stop naming them now as you might get the impression that I have all the DVDs from charity shops). The interesting thing is not that they were popular. Rather it is the elite of British acting who appear in them…Jill Gasgoigne, John Le Mesurier, Gabrielle Drake, Alfie Bass, Joan Hickson, Arthur Askey . Check out IMDb (the comprehensive movie database).

It took years to realise that this is all a bit sordid.

Of course, the music was good. The first record I ever bought was “Young Girl” (Gary Puckett and Union Cap) in August 1968. I do not suppose they would allow that now. Nor would they allow Pans People…not even the lovely Dee Dee although my personal favourite (if pushed) was Sue. You can tell a lot about a man in his 70s by who he names as his favourite Pans People.

Come to think of it, they would not allow Top of the Pops now.

Sport was not exactly diverse. Even as the Premiership began, there were some football clubs slow to embrace “ethnic” players. A whole new dimension in Football took off when England won the World Cup in 1966 with magazines such as GOAL. The Letters page often had a feature of “teams” composed of players with the same surname (Smith, Jones for example) or occupations (Baker, Farmer etc). One of the oddest was a “team” composed of black players. Ah Cec Podd (Bradford City) and Ricky Hepplewite (Preston North End).

Of course there were athletes …..Dorothy Hayman, Peter Radford, David Hemery, Mary Bignall Rand, Robbie Brightwell and Ann Packer….all cheered on by BBC twin guys Ross and Norris McWhirter. Ah BBC people standing as Tory candidates and having very strange political opinions.

Then we got Linford Christie, Kelly Holmes, Mo Salah, Daley Thompson….and Gary Lineker doesn’t have same politics as the McWhirter brothers.

And Politics…well, it was a breakthrough to get Bernie Grant, Dianne Abbott….and oddly Bernie’s successor as MP for Tottenham is David Lammy, apologist for Israel. That’s progress apparently. Not to mention all those feminist Labour ministers resigning over Gaza famine. Never mind we now have Kwasi Kwateng, Suella Braverman, Priti Patel and Kemi Badenoch.

Typically, we go along proclaiming our political correctness, our wokery, our aspiration to be on the right side of History. Until…..well we have limits. I liked Benny Hill. They cancelled him. How could they?

And in gender politics, my line in the sand was the “gay birthday cake”. A step too far.

Yet the touchstone for wokery, political correctness and being on the right side of History is the Black and White Minstrel Show, a staple of Saturday night variety shows on Saturday night in the 1960s and 1970s.

Two months ago, I passed the Victoria Theatre in London. It was the theatrical home of the TV show. The minstrels were a kinda tribute act to 19th-century Dixie minstrels in the United States. Nobody really thought, though, that this was in any way problematic.

As a child in the 1960s, I hardly thought anything of the history and in the 1970s, I was aware that George Mitchell and his minstrels had a saving grace…they were good. They were very, very good.

There was a formula. Forty five minutes. A comedian, usually Leslie Crowther and later an unlikely Lenny Henry ( who still can’t forgive himself) and maybe three scenes of music and dance and a set piece choral number under George Mitchell’s direction.

There were three soloists, tenor, baritone and bass and maybe three recognisable second stringers. And maybe ten or twelve chorus guys. In the 1960s, nobody seemed to notice that the men “blacked up” to perform. But in the 1970s, people did notice. The world was changing.

I often wondered if a black performer could actually pass an audition to be a member of the troupe. After all the conceit was that these were white men with make up. Indeed could a white woman pass an audition to be one of the Television Toppers, the very white female chorus.

It might seem that twenty seasons of Saturday night entertainment could not sustain an overdose of “Way Down Upon the Swannee River” and “Off to Alabammy with My Banjo on My Knee” but that was actually only a small part of the show. The musical interludes might have been show tunes, Scottish tunes and Gilbert and Sullivan.

You can’t listen to “Camptown Races” all the Doo Dah Day

One of my favourite LPs is the Mitchell Minstrels’ “The Blue and the Grey”, songs of the American Civil War. Of course, the performers did not have to “black up” to be in a recording studio. And maybe that’s the key. The BBC tried a series where the performers were not blacked up. And reviews were mixed.

When any culture is under “attack” from Wokery. Take Jim Davidson…please…please take Jim Davidson. Davidson becomes defensive. His act is “harmless”…… it’s only a bit of fun innit? Have those libtards no sense of humour? And of course, the worst kinda politician takes up the cause “our values are under threat”.

Eventually, circa 1980, the BBC cancelled the Black and White Minstrels. And understandably, the Minstrels saw themselves as harmless entertainment. Family Fun. Good old-fashioned family fun.

I saw an interview with a former Minstrel. At the height of the debate, he went outside the Victoria Theatre for a smoke. He was in full make-up. And as he looked around he saw a group of black men look at him with total disgust. It was his moment of realisation. This was not harmless. People did take offence.

But these things are circular. There was a time when “Little Britain” was considered funny. Now Lucas and Walliams seem to think they went too far in poking fun at mental health, incontinence and inarticulate teenage girls.

There was maybe even a time when “Give My Head Peace” was considered funny.

So, how should a person behave if they realise that they are doing something that actually causes offence?

What is the proper response?

“oh my GOD, I am causing offence to people. I must stop doing this”

“this is my culture. It is not offensive”

“well yes. my culture is offensive but I love being offensive”.