Tense times for Trump-bribe-accepter-cum-Attorney General, Pam Bondi!
Over the weekend, QAnon, Laura Loomer and FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino turned on her, because they are apparently stupid enough to sincerely believe she’s covering up some Epstein files that were going to show George Soros, Bill Gates and Bill Clinton making virgin adrenochrome baby juice in the blue and white temple on Epstein Island, or something. Why is Bondi covering up for the PEDOPHILE CABAL?! How dare she lie to the American people, they themselves would never!
The buck must stop somewhere for these files they were promised and will now never get, and in a cult it can never, ever stop with Dear Leader!
What a whiplash of a timeline!
On February 27 Bondi whipped out binders that she claimed were “declassified” Epstein documents, then turned out to all be documents that were in the public record already. A day later she claimed there were thousands of pages more, but Kash Patel had them. And then in March, she told Fox News that Epstein’s client list was sitting on her desk that very minute.
And THEN on July 7, the DOJ released a memo saying there was no client list after all, and Epstein killed himself. Bondi’s office released some video footage, which Trump’s previous DOJ had claimed did not exist, that she claimed was raw footage, but Wired said was not, did not show Epstein’s cell, and had a minute missing.
WHEW, finger stretch break! Let’s watch reporters having questions about that, and Trump losing his shit because the narrative is out of his control.
And THHHEEENN Trump took to his royal platform this weekend and made things worse for himself, as is his way.
In conclusion, now the files do exist and the Black guy and the woman created AND planted them all, during Trump’s own administration, with their witchy Deep State magic.
This was all enough to make Alex Jones cry, and send Dan Bongino, human butt plug and Kash Patel’s deputy at the FBI, reportedly into full meltdown, and as of now he has not been at work or heard from since last Wednesday. Not even Trump is sure if he is still working in his DOJ anymore, though he told reporters on Sunday, “I think so.”
Bingbongo had already been on the verge of tears on national TV over how he was living apart from his wife, forced to go to an office many hours every single day and share a sink with Patel. Unlike podcasting, loyalty-purging is actual hard work, we guess!
Polygraphs! Purges! FBI Gets KGB Under Patel And Bongino
According to some leaker who blabbed to CNN, Danny Bongos was such a hot mess that he, Bondi and Patel all interrupted Vice President JD Vance over the weekend (hopefully at the same time Vance was getting booed at Disneyland) with a flurry of whining calls, forcing him to mediate. NBC says Bongino is still “out of control furious” and trying to pull a “her or me” about Bondi, because she made him look like the lying, preening fool that he is in front of his legions of fans. Reality-show drama and suspense every day with these snowflakes! Trump should bottle some throwing wine.
But let us cut the crap here: during the Biden years, courts unsealed thousands of pages of Epstein documents. Trump was president and Bill Barr, the son of the guy who gave Epstein his first teaching job, was AG when Epstein was prosecuted and died in jail. It’s long been public knowledge that Trump and Epstein were friends — Epstein himself said BEST friends — and neighbors in Palm Beach and New York for more than a decade. Trump openly admired buddy-Jeff’s love of ladies “on the younger side,” and the two hit the clubs together, ogled underage beauty contestants together and even shared more than one girlfriend. And, according to court documents filed and then withdrawn, one alleged 13-year-old rape victim.
So What Are The Trump/Jeffrey Epstein/Underage Girls Rape Accusations? A Very Gross Explainer.
What You Need (Or Don’t Need!) To Know About The Epstein Documents.
Trump and Epstein traveled together on his plane, and so did Eric, Marla, and then-baby Tiffany. Being a gross, pimp-vibe pageant-owning pussgrab creeper was a key part of Trump’s persona, and he went on Howard Stern regularly to hornily drool, even over his own daughter.
This was well-known long before the first election.
His base does not care, and never has. MAGA would not care if files dropped showing Trump punching in multiple time cards for sessions with 14-year-old “masseuses” at Epstein’s townhouse, or worse. It’s not pedophilia, it’s ephebophilia, that’s an argument they’d likely discover real quick. Hey, remember that creepy Alan Dershowitz op-ed about lowering the age of consent? Any videos that show up are AI, they’d likely argue! He was risking it all to go undercover to expose the Deep State! Probably it’s the fault of the Jews, and he was being blackmailed by Israel!
MAGA and conservatives have never actually cared about “the children,” but they were really itching for some kind of proof to justify rounding up all of the liberals and sending them to El Salvador for their summer neighborhood barbecue conversation fodder.
They are still big mad to be deprived of this I-told-you-so, and so this weekend, Trump’s Hail Mary got ratioed by thousands on his own platform.
But Bondi has been busy with other stuff. She fired 20 prosecutors and staff at the DOJ who worked with Jack Smith to prosecute Trump. And she fired her ethics chief Joseph Tirrell with a one-page letter; his response on LinkedIn darkly hinted at the backstory:
I took the oath at 18 as a Midshipman to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States.” I have taken that oath at least five more times since then. That oath did not come with the caveat that I need only support the Constitution when it is easy or convenient. I look forward to finding ways to continue in my personal calling of service to my country. I encouraged anyone who is reading this to do the same. I believe in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. – “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” I also believe that Edmund Burke is right and that “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.”
Pam Bondi has no need for ethics! The rules for her attorney-ing are so simple: be a GrokBot for Dear Leader’s mission to weaponize the government, rain down vengeance on everybody who might oppose him, and don’t gain any weight.
All of Trump’s cabinet members are extensions of his Diet-Coke-pickled brain, and they would never say or do anything without his approval. Step out of line, and go the way of Tulsi Gabbard, still the Director of National Intelligence, who got disappeared in plain sight after posting a non-approved video that contradicted his then-burning desire to bomb Iran.
But even the best bot-people get confused when the prompt from on high keeps changing with every short-circuit panic-shart from Dear Leader’s rusting mainframe. And he’s getting more panicked! His approval rating has dropped six points from last month, and now even QAnon is starting to wonder if they’ve been had.
The story doesn’t seem to be going away, either. What shall his next distraction be from his other failures? War with Greenland, perhaps? Or Rosie O’Donnell?
As of today, Charlie Kirk revealed that they’ve shoved a Trump-flavored pacifier in his mouth about Epstein “for the time being,” but Alex Jones is still very much wilding out.
Keep popping popcorn!
OPEN THREAD!
[Independent / NBC]
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