How to set diet talk boundaries in the Age of Ozempic | Nutrition By Carrie

If you’ve become a bit tired of all the advertisements for the new generation of weight loss medications, you’re not alone. It’s a lot. I mean, there are a LOT of pharmaceutical ads out there, generally, and some are on such heavy rotation (at least on the streaming services I subscribe to), that I groan every time they appear. 

(The one with the lady in the ponytail, jeans and blazer who doesn’t seem to know what to do with her arms when she’s not weirdly staring at TVs on the wall is the worst. Is she a robot? Is she AI? I think the med is for psoriasis, but I’m not even sure anymore.)

Anyway, the onslaught of ads focused on GLP-1 receptor agonist medications for weight loss (some people do take them for diabetes) — and, perhaps worse, the glut of articles about people who are taking these drugs for weight loss — are having the effect of normalizing the taking of these medications for weight loss. And that’s a double-edged sword.

I certainly don’t want anyone taking one of these medications to feel shame. Each of us should be allowed to make choices about our bodies that we feel are right for us, hopefully through informed consent. But articles in major national publications talking about how funny it is when you’re out to dinner with a group of people and you’re all taking a GLP-1 and hardly eating anything? They aren’t exactly funny. Those articles, and the conversations in the scenarios they’re depicting, are the new diet talk.

Why weight talk is harmful

When someone is talking about this drug they’re taking that’s making them lose weight because they’re eating like a bird, that’s not the same thing as talking about this new medication they’re on that’s helping them manage their high blood pressure or their psoriasis. Why? Because body weight is a loaded topic that taps into beauty ideals, privilege vs. stigma, and many myths about what it means to be healthy.

Talking about losing weight on an appetite-suppressing medication is, on the one hand, so rainbow diet pills 3.0, but it’s also not a lot different than talking about your “amazing” new diet or why you’re not eating bread on your “health journey.” 

Hello, diet culture, you wolf in a new sheep’s clothing, you.

On the flip side, if you’re talking about a medication you’re on for high blood pressure or psoriasis, someone might think that they’re glad they don’t have to take a medication for those things, or maybe they’ll be happy for you that you found a medication that’s helping you manage your health condition. And that’s pretty much the end of it.

But it’s a mixed bag about who’s taking a GLP-1 for diabetes or another actual health condition (the idea that “ob*sity” is itself a health condition is EXTREMELY controversial) and who’s taking it because they want to be smaller.

Again, I support body autonomy, but the reality is that in our society, weight and size are topics that carry a lot of baggage. They are not neutral topics for anyone who’s repeatedly tried to shrink their bodies in pursuit of the “thin ideal,” or to please their parents, coaches, partners or healthcare providers.

Openly engaging in weight or diet talk doesn’t allow other people the autonomy to freely — or as freely as possible — opt out of diet culture and to make peace with their body at the size it’s at. To deal with what may be years if not decades of body dissatisfaction not by changing their body, but by changing how they think and feel about their body.

You’ve had it with the weight loss talk. Now what?

Setting diet talk boundaries with friends/family/coworkers in the age of Ozempic? It’s pretty much the same as you would set boundaries around any diet or weight talk. After all, people taking a GLP-1 for weight loss are still dieting, it’s just that the medication is enabling the diet.

How, or whether, you choose to deal with this next-gen weight talk depends on:

• How triggering it is for you. (Do you have a history of dieting, or of an actual eating disorder?)
• How resilient you’re feeling. (We all have days where nothing bothers us, and other when a particular conversational topic is the last straw.)
• The person(s) talking about their weight loss. (Would they graciously accept your request to change the topic, or would they get mad?)
• Your relationship with the person(s) talking about their weight loss. (Would they understand why that’s a difficult topic for you without you needing to overly explain?)
• Whether you’re alone with the person or in a group. (It can feel more challenging to speak up in a group situation, especially if multiple people are engaging in weight/diet talk.)

If you decide you need to set a diet/weight-talk boundary, you have options. You could:

• Leave the room/area. (For example, if you’re at a social function.)
• Choose to not engage. (Don’t respond with encouraging words or body language…at most, say “Oh” or “Uh-huh.”)
• Ask to change the topic. (“Can we talk about something else. I’m really making a point to not talk about weight or bodies, because that type of talk can sometimes be harmful.”)
• Decide to talk to the originator of the weight talk privately (if you’re in a group). You could say something like “I’m glad you’re happy/doing well. However, being around weight talk or talk about how little someone is eating isn’t good for my mental/psychological/emotional health. Could we talk about other things when we’re together.”

Setting diet talk boundaries isn’t a one-and-done

If you set diet talk boundaries with someone, it’s important to remember that the boundary is about what YOU will do, not what they are “supposed” to do. They are an autonomous human. If they choose to honor what you are asking (to not talk about weight/weight loss/food portions), then great. If they don’t, then it’s up to you to “enforce” that boundary by controlling your own actions.

In other words, if you set a boundary, you need to enforce it, and that’s really on you. And you should communicate how you will enforce the boundary. You might not do this when you first set your boundary, because it’s possible that asking once is enough. 

But let’s say you ask a friend to not talk about their weight loss or eating to you or in front of you, and they agree, but then the next time you see them they talk about their weight loss. You can remind them of what you had asked, and that they had agreed…then calmly let them know what you will do if they talk about weight loss in front of you again. 

Maybe you decide you’ll physically remove yourself from the conversation. Maybe you’ll go straight to “If this happens again, I won’t spend time with you anymore.” (It might depend on how good of a friend they are, otherwise.)

What’s key is that you say what you mean, then do what you say.

What if you’re taking a GLP-1 for weight loss?

If you’re intentionally pursuing weight loss, by whatever means and for whatever reason, please try to refrain from weight talk, unless you’re talking with your healthcare providers.

If you feel like you need to celebrate your weight loss, think about why. Is your weight the most interesting or most important thing about you? Is it your most shining achievement? I doubt it. 

I bet there’s lots of interesting things about you, or things you’re interested in that other people might like to talk to you about. I bet you have achieved much greater things than weight loss. Maybe you’ve earned a college degree, or a big promotion. Maybe you’ve raised kids, nurtured friendships, lovingly cared for pets. Maybe you’ve volunteered or given donations for good causes. Maybe you’ve created much needed habitat for birds and bees and butterflies.

I know that weight loss is often held up as a Very Important Thing, but that’s sad and wrong and puts a lot of potentially harmful pressure on anyone who’s not genetically thin.

Again, weight and weight loss is not a neutral topic, because other than select individuals, our society does not treat weight as a neutral trait or state of being. So when you talk about weight, you may be causing discomfort or even harm to someone you know or someone who’s simply in earshot.

• Can you guarantee that no one around you has an eating disorder, or a history of one? 
• Can you guarantee that no one around you has a loved one who’s dangerously thin because of cancer or another illness? Or had in the past, and the memory is still painful?
• Can you guarantee that no one around you is working hard to overcome body dissatisfaction, and feels like every day is a minefield of potential triggers?

The harm of weigh talk for the speaker and the listener

If weight was a neutral topic, we could talk about weight loss the same way we talk about the weather. You might have thoughts and opinions and hopes about the weather, but they tend to be transitory and certainly aren’t internalized in a way that can lead to disordered eating and exercise behaviors.

I fear that when someone wants to celebrate their weight loss, it’s a combination of believing that this is their finest achievement and trying to heal from body dissatisfaction in a maladaptive way. If you don’t feel good about your body, but you’re losing weight and everyone’s noticing and saying “good for you” or “you look great,” then that means your body’s OK, right?

But this is a bass-ackwards way of doing the real healing work, for a lot of reasons.

One, the compliments taper off when the weight loss does.

Two, most people who lose weight regain it. There is some evidence that this can happen to a degree with the new weight loss medications. And there’s always the chance (the risk) that you will lose insurance coverage and/or the ability to afford the medication, or that you will reach a point where you just can’t tolerate it. And then the weight will come back (research has definitively demonstrated this).

Third, all of our bodies are changing. Sure, we could chase the thin ideal, but are we also going to chase the youth ideal? Certainly, some people do (in the paid version of my newsletter, I just wrote about the links between diet/wellness culture and anti-aging culture). That’s a lot of time/money/energy when we could instead work on embodiment and focus on behaviors that help us achieve authentic health.

Hi, I’m Carrie Dennett, MPH, RDN, a weight-inclusive registered dietitian, nutrition therapist and body image counselor. I help adults of all ages, shapes, sizes and genders who want to break free from disordered eating or chronic dieting, learn how to manage IBS symptoms with food, or improve their nutrition and lifestyle habits to help manage a current health concern or simply support their overall health and well-being. This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute individualized nutrition or medical advice.

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