Lawson’s Birth Story | Alyson Haley

Hi friends! As of yesterday, it has been three weeks since little Lawson was born. Birth is always something that has absolutely captivated me. I remember seeing a birth during one of my nursing rotations and being brought to tears. It’s so beautiful that women have the ability to create life and bring little souls into the world. It never lost on me just how fortunate I am to have been able to bring two little boys into this world through this gift and I am excited to share Lawson’s birth story with you today.

thank you!

First, can I just say … I couldn’t believe the number of messages I got from you guys asking whether I got my VBAC, ha! It was so sweet and, for me, it really spoke to just how we, as women, know how special birth can be but also how hard birth can be if it goes outside of our personal expectations or, obviously, if something goes wrong. So, thank you so much for asking. It felt like you were holding onto that hope alongside me, which means a lot.

If you are newer to following me, I had an unplanned, emergency C-section with Louie in 2021 [while we were living in London] and there were elements of the entire experience that were absolutely brilliant and there were others, that sadly overshadowed the entire experience as a whole, that felt quite unexpected and traumatic. I had hoped for an unmedicated water birth but, at 41 weeks and 6 days, my body hadn’t gotten anything going so I had to be induced, which meant I couldn’t give birth in the birthing center [where they have pools for women to labor and birth in]. It’s true what they say to hold your birth plan loosely and I did. It wasn’t that I had to have a C-section. It was how I was treated during certain parts of the experience. It completely blindsided me and, since it was during the pandemic, John couldn’t be there with me at times when I really needed additional support. I’ve never shared the entire experience so as not to instill fear in women who had birth on the horizon but, I will say, the experience made me really passionate about what I wanted out of a future birth and what I wouldn’t tolerate. A supportive care team was an absolute must.

I must say, too, while the experience was partly traumatic, I’d go through it again and again if it meant I’d have Louie in my arms at the end of it. I feel like birth in some ways is part of an initiation of your new self and maybe some of the hard aspects of birth are required for you to get to her. Who knows? Just a thought.

So, when I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make some different choices that would hopefully help shape a different experience. I chose a care team that I had heard great things about from friends here in Jacksonville. It was important to me that this care team was supportive of my desire to have a VBAC and all of them confirmed they were. I made sure to schedule my appointments with a different OB so I could meet as many of them in the group as I could ahead of my birth. I also hired a doula to be a support to me in the event that I felt like I couldn’t properly advocate for myself during birth, which I cannot recommend enough! With all of those in place, I felt less nervous and more empowered toward the end and I can happily share now that it was such a positive experience! Not that it wasn’t without it’s challenges but this experience definitely underlined just how important it is for you, as a woman, to feel cared for and safe with your care providers. It informs and shapes so much of your experience.

Okay, so that’s all the background info – some of which y’all requested I go over. Here’s how everything transpired 🙂 also, apologies for the lack of photos in this post. from the time contractions started until about 2:30am, my brain was NOT FUSSED with taking photos, hah

wednesday, may 21st

On May 21st, I had my 40 week appointment scheduled. At this appointment, I expected that we would need to schedule an induction for the next week if my body didn’t continue to progress on its own. My preference was to avoid an induction if at all possible. So, I agreed to a cervical check and requested a second membrane sweep. The first one didn’t seem to do anything but I wanted to try everything possible to kickstart a spontaneous labor. At that point, I had progressed to 3cm and 90% effaced [and the previous week, I had already lost part of my mucus plug] so I was really, really hopeful that something would happen in the next 48 hours but, I did leave with a scheduled induction for the next Tuesday.

John and I went and had lunch then came home and I tried to relax as much as possible. I put one of my favorite movies on, threw a bunch of comfy pillows on our couch, laid down with my favorite blanket and the pups got cuddled in with me, which kept the oxytocin flowing. I ended up falling asleep for a few hours and woke up just as John was bringing Louie home from school. I went about our normal late afternoon routine of helping getting dinner going for Louie and the dogs fed for the night. At about 5:20pm, I had the first contraction that made it difficult for me to do the task that I was doing. I had to stop and breathe through it more than I had with other contractions. Once that one passed, I didn’t have another until 6:07pm. Because it had almost been an hour, I didn’t think too much of it. I had another about 30 minutes later and started to think this could be the beginning of a long [but exciting] night.

I started tracking my contractions in an app and sent my doula a text just in case she had plans that evening. I also gave my Dad and stepmom a head’s up as well as our dogsitter, Jaryn. Once everyone was ‘on call’ so-to-speak, it felt like things ramped up really quickly. I started to have contractions more frequently but they were inconsistent. Some were 10 minutes apart, then 4 minutes, then 7 minutes, then 13 minutes. I knew this meant I was in early labor. I didn’t need to go to the hospital until my contractions were at least 5 minutes apart & lasting about a minute consistently for an hour but, being you obviously don’t know how fast or how long that will take so I wanted to get as much done as quickly as possible so we weren’t scrambling.

We finished our dinner around 8:00pm. John got Louie in the bath and down to sleep while I cleaned up the kitchen, put the rest of Louie’s toys away, tidied the living room, and packed up what the pups would need at Jaryn’s. Her husband, Justin, offered to meet John halfway being that they live a good 45-minutes from us. I felt like John could likely have been fine to get there and back before we needed to go but, I did feel a lot of relief from him offering that. So, at 9:00pm, John went and met him and I got myself in the shower.

I tried not to stress but my contractions continued to get quite painful, sometimes coupling on top of each other. The fact that we had Louie at our house made me anxious so I contemplated calling my Dad to go ahead and come get him. My doula advised me to lay down, and try and relax, for at least an hour to see what happened. She said if it continued while I was laying down then things were definitely going to continue to progress and it was time to give my Dad the green light to come get Louie. John made it back around 10pm, which gave me the biggest sigh of relief.

At 10:15pm, I had been laying down for an hour and my contractions were between 4-6 minutes apart. I was shocked at how close they got in such a short amount of time. John packed up the car while I called my doula and gave her the green light to head our way. My Dad and Karen arrived, gave us lots of love and well wishes, and got little Louie all ready to go. I got emotional thinking about how his life, and our lives, would all be so different in a few short hours.

By the time they left, my doula, Mary, was pulling up. It was 11:00pm now and my contractions were coming every 4-5 minutes consistently since I had gotten up almost an hour earlier. I labored in the kitchen for a little bit longer and each contraction felt more and more intense and I got more and more nervous about how fast I was progressing considering all of this started 5 hours prior. She said it was my call as to when I wanted to go in so, at 11:30pm, I said it was go time and we headed to the hospital.

thursday, may 22nd

We rolled up to the hospital just shy of midnight and I was swiftly checked in and wheeled to triage. I was thrilled to hear I was the only one there so we didn’t have to wait for a nurse to get the admission process started. Before transferring me up to my room, my nurse in triage did a cervical exam and I had gotten to 6cm and 90% effaced. She asked if I wanted an epidural and, even though I had been saying that I wanted to do this unmedicated with as few medical interventions as possible, I was definitely considering saying yes because a lot of my contractions were coupling on top of each other. I hated that I was feeling like I wanted to change my mind but, I also refused to let shame creep in. My body got to 6cm on its own this time around and was progressing fast! Having an unmedicated birth is just as much of a mental game as it physical and while I decided I wasn’t up for continuing on that path … I also chose to count how far I’d come on my own as a win. I was so proud so, I opted for an epidural. I felt really confident about it, too, because the longer you wait to get the epidural, the less likely it is to slow down your labor and lead to a need for further medical interventions.

While we were waiting for bloodwork to come back that was needed for the epidural, Kristen, my nurse, continued to get me admitted into the system, hooked up to monitors, etc while John and Mary helped me through contractions. I’m so grateful to have had Mary, my doula, as a part of my care team because it allowed my nurse to be able to continue to chart and check off her to do’s and keep things moving administratively while Mary provided counter-pressure to my hips during contractions and John held my hand. I stayed on my feet for as long as possible to help baby continue to come down and progress. What I felt was the most helpful was the constant positive affirmations being thrown my way, the encouraging words of ‘yes mama, you got this.. you’re so strong’. It brought me to tears many times. Without my Mom here to provide that maternal safety net of support, I find that when I receive it, especially from other women, I get really emotional and feel her presence so I am so so grateful to them for that.

The anesthesiologist came in around 1:15am, placed the epidural, and about 20 minutes later, I started to feel some relief, although not without shaking for a good half an hour or so. I seem to always have that side effect but it eventually wears off. From 2am onwards, I felt calm, relaxed and excited to get a little bit of rest while my body continued to progress. Mary requested the peanut ball to place between my legs as it helps labor progress while I’m laying down. From then, I would alternate sides every 45 minutes to an hour or so trying to get little catnaps in. We kept the room really dark and chill to encourage rest. Kristen tried to bulk care into the times where I switched sides, as well, which was really helpful.

Around 5am, my left hip started to really hurt despite being numb. It’s the hip that had been giving me some trouble the last few weeks of pregnancy. My chiropractor told me that it’s my weaker side which I know is due to having a partial left meniscectomy back in 2018. I had wondered if it would flare up during labor as baby got lower and lower and didn’t want it to affect my ability to push effectively. I’m glad I hadn’t really needed to push my epidural button too many times because I didn’t want that to effect my pushing either. But, I tried to make 5am the last time I pushed it because we planned to check my progress at 6am.

After pushing it for the last time, I couldn’t fall back asleep. I couldn’t help but think about how close we were to meeting this sweet little boy. Looking glam for birth was certainly not a high priority for me but I did want to look a little more alive than I did when I birthed Louie. I have never shared the photos of me post C-section but I looked shocking so, I decided to do a little freshen up.

labor MVP products >> this fan | afterease liquid drops [post birth] | water bottle | labor comb | night dress

At 6am, I was complete at 10cm dilated and ready to push! I was so nervous about getting an epidural and it slowing down my birth the way it did with Louie in 2021 so, I couldn’t believe I was so close to getting my VBAC experience. We turned the lights down again and I started pushing on the next contraction. It was weird to push when you can’t feel if you’re pushing correctly but after a few contractions, they told me I knew exactly what I was doing and pushing perfectly. Around 6:45am, my dayshift nurse, Sara, came in and, wow, what a ray of sunshine! Her, Kristen and Mary were such a great trio really feeding my confidence and keeping me energized. John was on my left side holding my hand and cheering me on. He said he was completely in awe of everything that was going on as we saw birth as a very different experience the first time around.

Just before 7am, Lawson was crowning so it was time to call the doctor in. I felt bad because he was literally about to sign off to the next doctor on for the day but, in hindsight, I am so so glad he hadn’t yet. When the team gave me the green light to push, little Lawson came out with no problem. It was so quick and there was instant relief in my belly as he came out. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice but it hadn’t affected him at all, thankfully! He was quickly placed on my chest and nothing prepares you for the emotions that you feel seeing your child for the first time. You know what your body is doing for 9 months and that you are building a baby but, seeing them finally is probably one of life’s most precious moments.

Lawson Gray Martin was born at 5/22 at 7:08am. Can I just tell you how funny it is that he was born on the 22nd? John had said a few weeks before he was born that he’d love for him to be born on the 22nd. At that time, earlier in the month, I was sure he would come well before his due date [5/19] because I felt so much bigger this time around. I was like ‘surely there’s no way I could get bigger than this .. he has to be almost ready to come out’. Obviously I was very wrong, ha. And the reason why John wanted him born on that day is because he was born on July 22nd and Louie was born on March 22nd. Turns out, John got his wish. The other funny thing is that all three of their birthdays’ are two months apart: March, May, and July. I love that and think it’s such a fun connection.

my baby registry | what i packed for the hospital for me | what i packed for baby | newborn essentials

questions

Okay, now I’ll answer a few questions but I’ll more than likely answer more of the questions you sent in on stories so check the ‘LAWSON’ highlight on my Instagram profile to see more.

Did you tear?

Yes! This was actually why I was glad that the doctor who hadn’t gone off call yet ended up being the one who delivered Lawson. The oncoming OB is great! Everyone sings his praises and I’ve only ever had great interactions with him but the doctor who delivered Lawson has a special interest in minimally invasive gynecological surgery which served me well as I had a 3rd degree tear that was made worse because it split off and tore into my vaginal wall and severed a vein, caused a lot of blood loss. They handed me Lawson and I was in heaven then, all of the sudden, I started feeling really faint and nauseous. I remember looking at John saying ‘I think I’m going to be sick’ and I turned my head so I wouldn’t throw up on him and my angel of a nurse already had a vomit receptacle ready for me. Clearly that wasn’t her first rodeo! My blood pressure had plummeted to 50/30. John had noticed that my doctor and his nurse had poker faces on quietly hustling to get things under control before sharing what had happened. He also saw all the blood on the floor so he was freaking out inside.Thankfully, they took Lawson to be checked out while all of my nurses also worked to get me rebalanced. They got fluids going to help my blood pressure. They got blood transfusing to replenish what I lost. They gave me an anti-nausea medicine. Mary was wiping my face with a cold wash cloth. John didn’t leave my side.

When you opt for an epidural, you are more likely to tear so I wasn’t surprised I tore but I was definitely surprised I tore that bad. It made me even more grateful to have chosen the care team and the birth setting that I did … and that the doctor who delivered Lawson had a specialty to see I got the treatment I needed. By the time he was finished getting everything stitched up, I was already starting to feel brighter and more ‘with it’.

Recovery with a tear has been interesting hah … but it’s honestly been a little easier than the C-section recovery so, you will not hear me complain at all!

I know you were excited to have a Taurus baby but you said his due date was the cusp. What is his sun sign?

Girl after my own heart thinking to ask about his astrology, ha. So, actually, Lawson did the same thing little Louie did. Louie was due on the 8th of March so I thought he’d be a Pisces like his mummy but he ended up being born on March 22nd so he’s an Aries. Lawson was due May 19th, which would have made him a Taurus, but May 22nd makes him a Gemini!

So, based on his birth info … he is a Gemini Sun, Pisces Moon, and Gemini Rising. Such a fun combo and there are so many sweet pairing of his birth chart against Louie’s. Can’t wait to see them bond as time goes on 🙂

How has Louie settled into his big brother role?

Like a natural! He absolutely loves Lawson. He’s so smitten with him. He’s gentle and sweet with him. But, we are seeing Louie really trying to take up more space. I think, in ways he’s not verbally sharing, he is wanting to make sure he still matters so me and John are doing everything we can to affirm that he absolutely does!

Okay, I need to get this up and out to you guys! We are going to lunch to celebrate John for Father’s Day today so I’ll answer more questions over on stories later! Stay tuned and thanks so much for all your love and kindness over our gorgeous new arrival! Y’all are the best! xo.