Stacy London on Menopause and Empowering Women Over 50

Fashion expert, designer and entrepreneur Stacy London—you may know her from What Not to Wear—was named as one of QVC’s Q50 ambassadors last year, which celebrates women over 50 and provides a sense of community via the network’s Age of Possibility platform. Throughout the year, London connected with other women in the inaugural Q50 class, including Martha Stewart and Sherri Shepherd, to spread a powerful message for women in midlife and menopause: You are not alone, and your life is not over. Now, she’s sharing it with us. Though not yet in this cohort, my recent conversation with London left me feeling hopeful and inspired. Scroll through to read the full (and thought-provoking) interview.

What message or advice do you have for women in midlife right now?

“First and foremost, there’s not enough representation—real representation, ya know? It’s one thing if you’re a model and you’re 50—you were a model when you were 20—but we’re talking about real people who have accomplished a lot and have a great deal of wisdom. We’re turning things around culturally to say, ‘This era of 40 to 70 is really a ripe one for some disruption. Being part of Q50 is a real honor, because it goes with the mantra, ‘it’s never too late.’ Some people think it’s too late when they turn 40—they start to think it’s over and they’re starting to crumble. But I would say it really is a reckoning to get into midlife. It takes a minute; it takes some orientation. But, I think Q50 is a really great group of women to help orient you when you’re confused and disrupted by what aging, especially midlife, looks like. It is a very different time in our lives than ever before, and there’s nothing to really compare it to. People say things like, ‘you’re a queenager,’ but that’s not true. This is a real reckoning, both culturally and societally, and physically and emotionally.

The Q50 group represents all stages of that growth, but it takes a moment to turn a reckoning into a renaissance. I want to encourage to reader that what we’re trying to do is really create a particular niche that’s just for her. We want that women who has not been spoken to directly in a really long time to not feel invisible. We want her to know that there’s so much more ahead and this could be a turning point or a pivot in so many ways: personally, professionally, financially, etc. We want to help them make the most of it and feel the best about it. We want them to get through it feeling empowered and not disenfranchised from their family or society.

We’re living so much longer, so this over-50 group is going to live a lot longer than they think. What kind of choices are you making in order to enrich yourself and grow, and develop new sets of skills instead of feeling like it’s all over? One of the most important things is curiosity and enthusiasm, and we want to remind people of that. Your style matters, your beauty matters—all of these things that are giving you strength that you can use in your arsenal as tools, are things that we absolutely want you to have and wear comfortably.

I believe that to be somewhere between 40 and 70 in this moment in history is also about leaving this legacy for women—for women’s health, and for women’s rights. Every generation that comes after us will have a much easier time when going to the doctor, when choosing clothes, when figuring out how to deal with a changing body or body-weight redistribution. For all those things, like sweating more, having hot flashes, etc, you’ll have a toolkit—a manual.”

And we’re grateful for celebrities—like Naomi Watts and Halle Berry—using their platforms to speak openly on the topic as well.

“Yes. I think what’s so great about celebrities talking about this, like Naomi and Halle, and women like Tamsen Fadal and Dr. Jen Gunter, who have been at the forefront of this messaging, is that we finally have a common language. Now that we’re having this conversation, all of these women are coming out of the woodwork not only feeling less ashamed, but with a better idea of what they need and want.

It’s a very confusing time. There is some grief involved in saying goodbye to who you were when you were young. You have to acknowledge that, otherwise you won’t be able to move forward. Once you’ve said goodbye to her, it’s really about being open and embracing who you’re going to become. There’s so much to do and learn. This is a perfect time to sit up and pay attention to yourself. In some ways, I think that’s Mother Nature’s built-in fail-safe for us to pay attention to ourselves again instead of giving ourselves away as mothers, sisters, wives, whatever it is. This is a moment where you can reorient and see if you’re taking good enough care of yourself.

Also, nine books about menopause are coming out this year! Tamsen wrote How to Menopause, which is a great guide. Dr. Gunter wrote The Menopause Manifesto. These are things that cover all of the aspects of this change. It’s one thing to talk about aesthetics, but it’s another to talk about feeling fundamentally different.”

How has your perspective changed since entering your midlife chapter?

“My life has changed in so many ways. I used to go to the gym because I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I went on vacation and had cupcakes every day and now I’ve gained 5 pounds. I don’t go to the gym for that anymore. I go because I want to be able to walk when I’m 85. I want to be strong. It certainly changed my perspective on style, too. I don’t want to be as trendy. I don’t want to feel as sexy. I get my power from a different place, so I want that to be reflected in my style. There were big choices I made around 47. I wear suits; I hardly wear skirts and dresses like I did on What Not to Wear. It’s a big difference.”

How has your beauty regimen or outlook changed in this phase of life?

“I wear less makeup and more skin care. I do more skin care than I’ve ever done in my life. Normally, you won’t see me with a stitch of makeup—unless I’m going on camera—because I actually feel and look younger with better skin than I did before. I never wear mascara anymore—I only do little false lashes—because mascara winds up by my chin at the end of the day, even waterproof. I’ve also tried tubing mascara, and I don’t know if I’m an alien or what, but it will not stay on my lashes. I do care more about filling in my brow a little more because it helps frame my face, and I can put on a little blush or a little lipstick myself, but that is all you’ll literally ever see me in. I’ve watched those tutorials about where to put the foundation and highlighter, but I’m like, no. That looks like a map class that I don’t like—it’s cartography to me.”

Are there any menopause-focused beauty or wellness brands you use personally?

“I definitely support Stripes. I think the vaginal moisturizer is super important and there isn’t a ton of product like that on the market yet. There’s a difference between a lube and vaginal moisturizer, which is very important to understand. But when it comes to skin care, I think you need to look everywhere, and not just at products that are being marketed for menopause. You really have to be an educated consumer and find out what you want in a product. For example, I do not use retinol or vitamin C. Everyone will tell me I’m crazy not to use those, but I don’t like the way they feel and I worry about my skin burning if I don’t have enough sunscreen on. There’s just stuff I don’t want to mess with.

I try to keep it to serums, oils and creams, right on top of each other, twice a day, and sunscreen every day. I love companies like Sarah Creal. She makes this four-in-one moisturizer-highlighter for under the eyes that I think is fabulous. I also love their toner—the big blue bottle. There’s also a new company called Kari Gran that I love, and I’m really obsessed with the serum.

Of course I used State of Menopause when I had that company, but part of the reason I closed that company was that we did not have enough new ingredients or provable tests on any specific ingredient that made it worse or better than any other skin-care product. And I think it’s very tricky to say that skin care is at the center of menopause. What’s at the center of menopause are big feelings—not just dry skin and dry hair. It’s really about how you feel through the process, and creating community.”

What about the topic of in-office treatments? We’re seeing so much about “the menopause makeover.”

“There’s such a conversation going on in my age group—I’m 55—about whether or not it’s still cosmetic dermatology, or whether it’s time to go under the knife. I say, every person for themselves; every choice you make is the right one if it’s for you. But, I do think it is a big topic. And again, this is nothing I heard five years ago. Now, people are talking about it in a way that they want to have plastic surgery earlier like the way they started Botox earlier. That concerns me that we’re missing the bigger picture about aging, and the beauty of aging. To look like one way is one thing, but to fake it to the point where you’re trying to kind of master time makes no sense to me because we learn so much at this phase of life and we have so much to offer.”