We know what you are thinking:
OH NO DID BEN SASSE SPOT HERSCHEL WALKER SOME ABORTION MONEY AND THE STORY IS ALL ABOUT TO COME OUT AND THAT IS WHY HE IS QUITTING SENATE?
It is probably not that.
Unless it’s that.
It could be that.
https://twitter.com/IanMSwanson/status/1578103181196005376″ target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>This says he is taking a job at “higher education.”
So we are sure there is some sort of scandal.
https://www.politico.com/news/2022/10/06/sasse-expected-to-resign-from-senate-00060812″ target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>Politico says the Republican from Nebraska is going to the University of Florida, though, so maybe there’s no scandal, it’s just that he saw Ron DeSantis in those mom boots and https://www.wonkette.com/ron-desantis-boots” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>decided he needed to get a closer look at them, permanently.
Ben Sasse has always annoyed the fuck out of us, by being good enough at pretending he is some kind of thoughtful reasonable moderate that some people believe it. He loves loves LOVES to tell us all what is https://www.wonkette.com/ben-sasse-has-idea-more-senate-slumber-parties-less-democracy” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>Wrong With America. He loves it. He’s got https://www.wonkette.com/gop-senate-candidate-ben-sasse-has-genius-plan-to-move-nations-capital-to-nebraska-fix-america-forever” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>ideas, man. Some might even call them thoughts.
Fuck him. He still https://www.sasse.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/2022/3/sasse-statement-on-judge-jackson-no-vote” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>couldn’t bring himself to vote to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson, the single most qualified SCOTUS nominee in fuckin’ human history, because he was too much of an airhead to understand her explanations of her judicial philosophy, and she refused to scratch his taint by affirming his paint-by-number ideas about “originalism.” He’s kind of a dimwit.
During her confirmation hearings, https://www.wonkette.com/ketanji-brown-jackson-confirmation-hearings-live-2657024775″ target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>he pretended to be intellectual, like he always does, because nobody ever did him the solid of explaining to him that he’s just not a very interesting white man. He babbled about cancel culture on college campuses, and begged Jackson to swear to Jesus she was against cancel culture.
Sasse, to his credit, voted to convict Donald Trump in Trump’s second impeachment trial — you know, the one after Trump incited a terrorist attack against the United States in order to overturn the election. Yay, Wonkette finished the paragraph about the good things Ben Sasse has done in his life in record time!
We’d say maybe he got on Monster Dot Com and started looking for new jobs because he was pretty sure he was going to get primaried for that anyway, except for how he’s not up for re-election until 2026.
Yep, definitely a scandal.
What do you guys think it is? Is he a furry? Did a journalist find his https://www.wonkette.com/-2658385176″ target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>Senate litterbox?
Vote for what you think is Ben Sasse’s scandal in the comments.
OPEN THREAD.
UPDATE / PROGRAMMING NOTE: Join Yr Wonkette tonight (Thursday) for a livestream of the Arizona US Senate debate between incumbent Democrat Mark Kelly and weirdo Thielbot Republican Blake Masters. Some weird third party or Libertarian guy will be taking up space too, to give viewers a chance to go to the fridge.
Starts at 9:00 Eastern; we’ll have the PBS NewsHour YouTube feed in the post, which should go up around 8:45 EDT. Dok may even drop by to crack wise with you guys. He might bring Thornton, although how would you know?
Follow Evan on Twitter http://twitter.com/evanhurst” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>right here!
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